… doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings
That my children are healthy and alive
That they love the hell out of me
That I have a job
That I have somewhere to live
That I have a working vehicle
That I have the coolest cat on the planet
That I have a computer (had to throw that in there, ‘cuz I am)
And also for all of the very awesome and supportive people who read my blog and comment <3
Loserman was supposed to help me replace the alternator in Breezy Saturday. Help me do it.
But before that could happen, last Monday afternoon I got a text from him:
I can work on Breezy tomorrow (Tuesday) since it’s supposed to be warm.
So, Tuesday morning before I left for work, I put $100 in the trunk along with the new alternator and belt. The cash was supposed to be his payment – time/labor/trip charge, whatever… He’s my mechanic now or Loserman, not my “boyfriend” or AP (or loverman).
He didn’t come over Tuesday as planned. I was hardly surprised. I wasn’t at the forefront of his radar before, why would I be now?
At 3:30 Tuesday afternoon, I got the following message:
Hey, wanted to let you know that I didn’t get a chance to put the alternator on due to I was babysitting and now going to take a nap. I will do it tomorrow.
I simply texted back, “Okay”.
Earlier, I had decided that for each day he was late in replacing my alternator, I was going to take away $20 from his payment. I didn’t tell Loserman.
Tuesday night, before I went to bed, I took $20 out of the trunk.
I didn’t hear from him again until I was getting ready to go to lunch Wednesday afternoon, when we had the following text conversation (Loserman is Red and I am Blue):
I needed to know if the core and the new belt were in there with the receipts so I could get my $53 back.
Also, I left his roller skates in the trunk for him to take “home” (and I was feeling a bit passive-aggressive, I’ll admit it). They were a birthday gift from me 2 years ago. I figured that, if he wasn’t going to be skating with me, he might as well have them to skate. His old ones are falling apart and are held together with duct tape.
Nice. Burned again.
If he’s returning the skates I gave him (and he’d better be careful, I might just donate the fuck out of them!), does that mean I have to return the things that he gave me?
Because I don’t want to.
I am using the speakers he put in my truck, and the sunroof motor. However, I have thought about giving back the Cartier Delices he gave me. Smelling like that is heavenly, but it reminds me of him…
Until my vehicles are completely fixed (or, until I find a different person to help me fix things I have already paid someone else for), I am going to have to continue communicating with “Loverman”.
Since he isn’t my lover or my man any more, I decided to change what I call him.
So, that prick has now officially been re-named:
If he decides to stop being such a mother-fucker, I might forgive him.
But he has a lot of work to do to make things up to me and I am not ready yet to even entertain the thought of giving him a chance.
My new tattoo. For me. To remind me.
(excerpt from The Secret of Healthy Relationships on omswami.com)
… … … love other things together and don’t lose sight of the good you have. When you are able to love not just the person you love but what they love, your relationship reaches a whole new level. If what matters to them starts to mean something to you, living together becomes a great deal easier.
Loving and living together at the same time is only possible when two people care about what the other person loves.
You also need to have forgiveness in your heart. ~ Me