This is How My Month-End Friday Started *sigh*

Hello *Smitten*,

I hope to have our final Zillow and Tulia Invoices tomorrow.

I have been reviewing our budget and expense statements.  I have a couple of questions.  I hope that you can help provide a little more clarity:

Can you provide a detailed ledger for the Atlanta expenses for the period of January 2013 to August 2014?  This would be a great help.

Thanks,

On the very last fucking day of the month, while I am still waiting on crucial paperwork from her, she has the balls to ask me for 20 months worth of itemized expenses?!?!? WTF? Are you serious?

My response:

Good morning, *branch manager*

Attached is the General Ledger detail for all of **your branch’s** expenses from 1/1/2013 until 6/30/2014 (FYI – it was 106 pages). This is what has been made available to me – July’s final numbers have not been provided yet.

As you know, today is the last day of the month and I do not have time to itemize every expense. After you have reviewed the attached detail, if you have specific questions about any of the entries, let me know. I am not the only person making entries to your General Ledger and some of the questions you have may need to go back to the CFO. I need to know very specifically what you are looking for and why if I am to go to our CFO asking for 18-20 months’ worth of information.

I am resending you the email I sent last month with your June financial statement (which is the last one made available to me). Every month, after the final posted numbers are sent to me, I send *your branch’s* financial statement to you, your assistant and our managing broker. In the body of that email I ask that you please review it and contact me with any questions or concerns. Going forward, it may be more prudent to review the financial statements in a timely manner and get back to me with any problems or questions you might have as soon as you have them. It is much easier to remember an entry made a month ago, as opposed to over a year ago.

Your help is greatly appreciated
*Smitten*

AAARGH!!!

Happy Friday?

Dr-Seuss-Quote

Trying Something a Little Different

PatientI bared myself in front of him, all except for my panties

At first I wanted it to be all about him

If my panties were on, I was less tempted to jump on top of him too soon

I kneeled before him and unbuckled his jeans

I sucked him off as he stood, half-clothed, in front of me

His hands tangled in my hair

Freeing my face

His dick was so fucking hard!

I looked up at him and told him how much I love to suck him

How much I enjoy tasting him. The saltiness

How his dick always makes me so wet

I looked up at him several times with my “Charlotte Eyes”

He calls them that because they remind him of Charlotte’s eyes in the Charlotte’s Web cartoon movie

He wouldn’t cum for me that way, though

He made me get up. He said he wanted to be inside of me and feel me inside

So, I got up and he started kissing me right away

Usually, after I blow him, he doesn’t like to kiss me right away, but it was like he HAD to this time

He finished kissing me (it was an awesome 2 minutes or so)

And I looked at him with my Charlotte Eyes again

I told him I wanted him to spank me

And mean it

Then I leaned over onto the bed and he took me from behind

He smacked me 6 really good times. Like he meant it!

But I had him so hot from the blow job that he couldn’t concentrate on the smacking and just fucked me

Almost as hard as I wanted

And it was good

We were in a room with two double beds and he was in the middle; I was leaned over one of the beds.

He came HARD! So hard that he pulled my body up to his

My back was to his chest

So we were standing between the two beds

While he was cumming, he pulled me on top of him and fell onto his back on the opposite bed

But, he didn’t cum inside me

He pulled out and I held his cock in my hand while he came

While I was laying on top of him, on my back, I stroked him through his entire orgasm

And he moaned in pleasure

He was still hard afterward so I turned over and mounted him

Girl on top

Then boy on top

Upside down and sideways

He talked dirty to me the whole time

He usually does, but not so much

“Cum again, baby. ” “You gonna cum on that dick again?”

Maybe he was more vocal this time because I was

It was my turn to cum hard

All over him

Again and again and again

I kept telling him how much I love how he feels inside and how completely he fills me

I was moaning. It’s unbelievable the way he makes me feel

We woke up in the morning and had another complete round

After it was over and we were basking in the after-glow, I asked him

“Does your dick feel better in my mouth or in my pussy?”

(I have never asked him a question like that)

He said, “Baby, your mouth and your pussy feel so good that if you don’t get up right now and go into the shower, you are going to be very late for work.”

“But which one feels better?” I persisted

“They both feel so good, baby. I can’t pick one. Your mouth feels so awesome in a totally different way than your pussy.”

I loved his response

Photo Credit: Lessa’s Memories

It’s The Thought That Counts

Marijuana-Leaf

You may already have deduced this, but I am a chronic weed smoker. Been that way for over 20 years. Kids know, parents don’t.

I smoke it to calm my anxiety. It’s like my Xanax. It has been that way my entire adult life. I also have a seizure disorder, so I smoke to avoid some of that bullshit. Seizures suck — for me and all the people around when it happens (and I totally hate the way prescription seizure meds make me feel. Been there. Done that).

I live in Colorado, where it’s now 100% legal for 21+ and has been medically legal since before I moved here 7.5 years ago.

I have a Caregiver who grows some of the most mind-blowing buds you will ever smoke. She is totally awesome. Not only is she my medical-marijuana Caregiver, she’s like the mom I always wish mine was. Once a month I go over to her house and pick up my “prescription” and we have a mini-therapy session. I love that woman!

It’s very likely that the amount of pot I smoke in a day would fuck most of you up for the better part of a week. Every once in a while, I skip a few days and let the THC and Cannabanoid levels in my body lower, but not very often. It’s very rare you will find me without marijuana on my person in some form.

I love the feeling of serenity and inner peace that I feel when I am high. It also helps me to focus my scattering thoughts on just one thing. And, unlike alcohol, it does not lower my inhibitions. I’m just sane(r).

There are times when you can tell that I am stoned and there are times when you would never, ever suspect. I have been high for so long that my coping mechanism, in this aspect, is quite impressive.

Anyway… The point of my telling you all of this is so I could tell you a very short and sweet story-within-a-story.

Last Thursday night was an amazing date night for me with Loverman. I tried something new and acted a little differently on the advice of a new friend.

When we left each other Friday morning, Loverman said to me, “There’s something for you in your truck. But don’t look for it, it will ruin the surprise! Let me tell you about it later today.”

OMG! How cute, right? So, I said, with a twinkle in my eye, “Okay, baby. I will try not to look, but if I find it on accident don’t be mad.”

“Mamacita!” (he calls me that all the time) “You better not. I want it to be a surprise. You would never find it on accident.”

I did what I was told and I didn’t look for it (much) and I definitely didn’t find anything.

At 4:45PM I received the following text:

Your surprise is in the driver’s door. It’s a small baggie. This guy didn’t want to go into work with it so he gave it to me to throw away.

I honestly think my face actually lit up! It’s bit deviant, but how totally sweet! At his security job he confiscated someone’s bag of weed and then he saved it for me!

When I got home I checked the door where he said and found a tiny bag of shake. I suspected that it was going to be pretty bad stuff but I really didn’t care because he thought of me!

I responded:

You’re so sweet! Sometimes you amaze the hell out of me. I love my surprise!

Because I did. Super-bad-ditch-weed or not.

You know why it’s even more of a surprise? Because Loverman has been trying to get me to stop smoking pot since he met me.

While we were on our sk8venture last November, we got into a pretty big disagreement (for us. We hardly ever disagree. 6 years and 3 ‘fights’) and I was wound tight as a spring. As we finished up our heated discussion in his truck and got ready to go into the hotel, I told him I needed to smoke up to calm down and I asked if he wanted to join me. He said, “No, babe, but you are more than welcome. Just don’t stay out here too long” then he went inside.

When I got back to the room he was lying in bed watching something on TV and I asked if I could get into bed with him. I was relaxed and apologized for the crazy-me from earlier and we made up…

I should have just told him I needed to get high earlier and I think we could have avoided an entire night of stress, but he didn’t want me to be doing drugs so I was trying not to.

I think that’s when he started to understand more about why I smoke it and just accept the fact that I do. Frequently when I am with him I am high, but I have never smoked in front of him.

It turned out to be super-bad-ditch-weed. LOL! But I don’t give a shit.

Because it really is the thought that counts.

Ladies’ Night

Better Than the Boys

I went skating last night, like every single Saturday night. This week, like last, I skated alone because Thing #1 wasn’t feeling well.

Earlier in the afternoon I texted Sexy Skaterman and asked if he would be skating. It was Ladies’ Night after all. ;)

He responded, “Absolutely. It’s always Ladies’ Night.”

“Cool. I look forward to seeing you there. I hope you’re having a good day.”

That was the end of the texting until 10:30PM when he texted “I want you.” (Incidentally, I didn’t receive that text until after everything was over. Sometimes I leave my phone in the car while I’m skating.)

When he arrived at the skating rink I think it was around 10:45. I’m not entirely sure because I wasn’t waiting around for him watching the clock, I was skating and exercising and trying to stretch out my knee.

Once his skates were on, he rolled out onto the floor and I met up with him to say “Hi.” His arm went around my waist and mine around his and we skated and talked together a few times around the rink.

He kept pulling my hip into his hip and telling me how good I looked and he kept leaning over to smell my hair (Saturdays I don’t wash my hair. Anything he smelled and liked in there was all 100% me. I guess I should be 100% flattered!)

We skated around together for an entire song while he asked me, over and over again, what I wanted to do. The first few times I answered, I was a little coy but truthful, “I want to skate tonight. Then we’ll see.” He was very persistent and eventually I told him that I wanted some time to think about ‘what I wanted to do’. He was happy enough with that and skated away to flirt with the other girls.

I am not jealous of the other girls. It’s what he does. It’s how he is. All the men know it and he pisses the lesbians off. Also, there was no need for me to be jealous: he spent more time with me than any other woman there.

Towards the end of the skate session, Skaterman approached me again and asked, again, what I wanted to do.

I must have given him a confused look (I don’t know what I looked like, but I knew what I wanted to say to him) because he took my arm and said, “Let’s go sit down. It will be easier to talk.”

After we sat, I took a minute to form my question into a coherent thought, and then I asked, “If I said ‘Yes’ right now and told you I wanted to give it a shot what would happen?”

“I don’t do ‘Ifs,'” he answered. (What the fuck?!? I don’t do cryptic!)

“Well, *I need to know*… What do you want? When we get done with skating are we gonna get naked in the back of your truck and fuck like bunnies? Do we get a room? Do we make an ‘appointment’ for later? I have to know what you are expecting before I can even entertain your offer.”

His response was, “We can do that way if that’s what you want. We can do any of that. I’ve done all of that and I don’t have a problem with it. As long as you don’t get attached and this doesn’t get too complicated. Just know that once you say ‘Yes’ to me, it’s on and I will tear you up.”

I thought, We can’t have an uncomplicated “relationship”. I am already in 2 relationships, that immediately complicates things. Skaterman only knows about Loverman, but he knows that we are very close. He knows that Loverman is my “boyfriend”.

“Okay. So you want to ‘tear me up’ and I’m pretty sure I could do the ‘no attachment’ thing” (as you readers know, I can’t, I just wanted to see if he was going to go through with all of it.) “So, if I say ‘yes’ to you, what is it that you want?”

“I want to be with a woman who isn’t crazy.”

I scoffed. Like there is such a thing. Ha! “Ummm… You know that there is no such thing, right? I am proud of the fact that I am okay at curbing my Crazy, but she’s still there. You’re old enough, I’m pretty sure you know that. What do you really want, Skaterman?”

“I want to sleep with you.”

This time I practically rolled my eyes! WTF does that mean!? “You know that could mean two different things and you still aren’t answering my question. What do you want out of ‘this’?”

“I want to go to sleep with you and wake up with you in the morning and I want to know how we can make that work.”

WHOA! WTF? “Dude! It sounds like you are looking for me to make some kind of commitment outside of my Loverman and if I get into something deep like that, I am looking for a very specific type of man. You keep telling me how you want to ‘fill in the spaces’ that he leaves out but I need to know if you are the guy who can do that before I let you.”

Big surprise! He was offended. He stood up and said, “Well, I’m sure not going to change into something for you because that’s how you want me to be!”

OMG! Talk about crazy! He didn’t even know what I was looking for. He didn’t even ask. It could very well be that he was precisely the man who could ‘fill in the spaces’. I didn’t know how to respond to that. Luckily the DJ skated by at that moment and started talking to him.

It was a hilarious conversation that I totally have to share with you here! (the DJ is and 18-year-old lesbian, that is important):

DJ: You need to leave my girl alone! You know she’s 16, right? And she’s mine so you gotta stop it.

Skaterman: I’m just showing her new moves. Totally innocent. I don’t want your girl.

DJ: She told me what you said to her about wanting to get with her and give her a lap dance. Show her how it’s really done. Leave my girl alone, dude!

Skaterman: I can’t help it if she got the wrong idea. I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful.

As that interlude was ending, I skated away and skated the rest of the session by myself. When it was over at midnight I took off my skates, put on my shoes and left. I walked by Skaterman, who was talking to a girl ;) , I said good-bye to the both of them, she responded.

When I got to my truck, I checked my phone to make sure that nothing had happened while I was at skating. And it was now that I got the “I want you” text from Skaterman. I sighed and then drove home.

I got home at 12:10, texted Loverman to let him know I made it home safe, and told him that I missed him and I would see him in my dreams. After that, I cut up an apple for myself, made some cheese and crackers and sat down to watch an episode of Rookie Blue (with a shot of tequila).

I hoped so much that Loverman would text me back quickly, but he was at work and it was Saturday night so I figured, when he didn’t respond right away, that he was busy.

I was nodding off to dreamland at 12:59 when the “barbie sparkles” sounded from my phone and I thought, Thank you, baby. I really needed to hear back from you tonight. I crossed my fingers and hoped with all my heart that Loverman was the one texting me to say “Good night, Mamacita.”

But, it wasn’t.

Boy, was I disappointed.

texts with skaterman

What an ass!! What the fuck was I supposed to do with “Hey”?

He didn’t respond to my last message.

I can’t say that I am disappointed.

Tell Me, Kiss Me, Love Me

 

tell her

I want so badly for someone to be proud of me and to tell me they’re proud of me.
To value me and help me feel that value.
To treasure me like I know I deserve to be treasured.
To wear me on his arm like a prize.

I do all that I like and enjoy almost every single day, but I still feel unfulfilled and I still struggle to fill that void.

I search for validation from my partner because, no matter how hard I try and no matter what I tell myself, I still do not have the power to validate my Very. Own. Self.
I want to bloom, but I don’t know how to nurture the tiny baby blossoms.

This was my response (with a few edits) to a comment made on my post the other day by luv2sex

Supplication for a Good Master

Help me! I am lost in myself. I’m sick of being the one always making decisions, always asking for and then paying for dates, always being the caregiver, always being the boss…

I want someone to tell me how it is and how it should be; how he wants me to be and how he likes me to be. I want someone who can help validate my sexuality and my need to please. I want to please my lover so much, but I want to be pleased as well. I need someone who can be comfortable telling me what they want from me and for me.

Maybe… I don’t even know any more… I’ve never done anything like this and only know a little bit about it (thanks to the “50 Shades…” series and a girlfriend of mine who is a sub), but I crave the structure and security that seems to go along with a Master/Sub relationship.

P.S. if you’re NOT interested, please respond and let me know if it was my looks, what I said, my inexperience, etc…? I would really appreciate the guidance/help.

Want to be Mastered