I Hate The Word “We”

It’s been a while since I’ve had a rant about work…

 The patronizing “we”

The patronizing we is used sometimes in place of “you” to address a second party, hinting a facetious assurance that the one asked is not alone in his situation, that “I am with you, we are in this together”. A doctor may ask a patient: And how are we feeling today? This usage is emotionally non-neutral and usually bears a condescending, ironic, praising, or some other flavor, depending on intonation: “Aren’t we looking cute?”.

The dictatorial “we”

The dictatorial we is … … … more commonly used in spousal conversations or relating to them. More often used by one person having or showing a tendency to tell people what to do in an autocratic way. Take for example the following portion of a conversation:
  • As soon as we get the rest of the brick work done (in progress) this is part of the plan…
This person is using the dictorial “we” and implying that the other will be doing the work and that they are currently behind and has more waiting afterwards. This form looks nicer and comes across as being less harsh. In spousal dialect this phrase could be loosely swapped out with the following:
  • As soon as {insert spouse name} gets off their lazy butt and finishes the brick work this is the next thing I will have them doing…”
From Wikipedia

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It Sucks I Have to Pretend You’re Dead



My divorce from Doom-n-Gloom is final.

According to the agreement, in order to avoid paying him support, he gets to live with me until our lease expires mid-September 2016.

But, I am single now and I could be yours if you would have me.

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The Energies Inside Us

To restore its equilibrium, the brain tries to quiet our sensitized, trauma-related memories by pushing us to have repetitive, small “doses” of recall. It seeks to make a sensitized system develop tolerance. And, in many cases, this works. In the immediate aftermath of s distressing or traumatic event we have intrusive thoughts: we keep thinking about it when we don’t want to, we often tell and retell the event to trusted friends or loved ones. Children will re-enact the events in play, drawings and their daily interactions. The more intense and overwhelming the experience, however, the harder it becomes to “desensitize” all of the trauma-related memories.

From The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: and Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist’s Notebook
by Bruce D. Perry, PhD and Maia Szalavitz.

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The Wisdom of Divorce by Ricki Lake


This morning at 11AM Mountain Time, if all goes well the way it should, Doom-n-Gloom and I will be finalizing our divorce.

Maybe some of the distress I have been feeling recently is a part of this process and the “ending of an era”. I mean, Ricki’s quote up there really rings true for me.

Things just slowly faded and then, one day I looked up and all the color was gone.