Oddly enough, I was rereading some “related posts” when I came across this one: Lost
For the most part, I have overcome that feeling in regards to [Loserman].
Don’t get me wrong, I still feel very lost very much of the time, but situations (car-related and not) keep popping up in life (as they tend to do) and I am handling them on my own, without his help and/or support. Sometimes I probably don’t handle them in the best of ways, but I get through it and then deal with the consequences regardless…
Since Alaska pretty much shunned me last Monday, I’ve had little-to-nothing to say to him.
In all honesty, I am disgusted.
Disgusted with him.
Disgusted with myself.
DIS – GUS – TED
I decided to step outside my ‘box’ and try something a little different for a change. It is too comfortable in my little closed-off world and I need to start “BECOMING”.
Becoming what, I don’t have a clue, but I have been hating myself for long enough for no good reason.
THAT SHIT NEEDS TO CHANGE AND THE ONLY PERSON TO CHANGE ME IS ME!
So, this past Wednesday night, I attended a local monthly Submissive Group.
Monday night I finally decided to talk to Alaska about his lack of respect for my time and money.
It started with, “Get me a beer.”
As I walked to the kitchen to get a new beer that *I* had paid for (since he drank the rest of my last 6-pack – that I paid for…), I grumbled, “You know, just a little appreciation and thanks goes a long way.”
“What’s that?” He asked.
I repeated myself.
Last week Dreamboat PM’d me on Facebook to invite me to a costume party.
It’s an Egyptian Steampunk Costume Party.
Sounds fun, right?
As you may or may not know, I am not a social events type of girl – especially if I don’t know anyone there and I don’t arrive at the choice to go there on my own.
That latter bit is something I just learned about myself. Maybe it seems dumb that I didn’t see that before now, but I am stubborn. If I feel any pressure at all to do something I don’t want to do, I then want to do it even less.
Recently I have been forcing myself to get out and do those different things, but they are events and environments and times of my choosing. That way I can feel a little more in control of the situation… and I can leave whenever I want.
Last night I got a new tattoo!!
Can you guess where it is?
And, because I paid for more time than it took, he also touched up my kitties 😋😻
It seemed as though Alaska may have missed me while I was away last weekend. However, this time he actually remembered I would be gone.
I actually shared my google calendar with him after he’d forgotten numerous times that I would be away for something or other… When he asked me why, I told him that was the reason.
The first time he called or even attempted contact was Sunday morning while my crew and I were getting ready to return home. He even made a joke!
“We’re on our way out right now,” I said. “Would you like me to call you when I get back into town?”
He snickered a little and said, “No! I do not want you to call me when you get home!” Then we both busted out in laughter. It’s a rare occasion that he plays around like that, if at all.
“Okay. It will be after 3 before I call. Have a good morning,” I replied and ended our call.
Someone sent me a gift box last Friday.
Unfortunately I was off promoting Rollerbrights with my crew in Nebraska when it was delivered and I didn’t get it until yesterday (Monday).
I received a message from him while we were at dinner Friday night which surprised the hell out of me! He had asked a while back for an address where he could send me something he’d gotten for me, but it completely slipped my mind.
In my package there was gorgeous set of notepads, my (new) favorite movie and a pair of silver hoop earrings.