Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

“I’m Sorry” VS “Thank You”

on September 5, 2012

Do they mean the same thing?*

It doesn’t look like it to me.*

If a person says to you: I’m sorry to have inconvenienced you

Would it mean the same as: Thank you so much for your help


I ask you this because my husband seems to think these words are interchangeable.Instead of saying, “thank you for taking me to the pharmacy after you got home from work. I know you don’t like going out again after you’re home” – he chose to say, “I am sorry for being such an inconvenience to you”.

In the past, I have mentioned to him (and my daughters) that, in my mind, the phrase “I’m sorry” denotes regret and implies the desire to not repeat the mistake again.

Am I wrong to think that? Is that not what an apology is?

And don’t even let me get started on gratitude and entitlement… That will be a different angst-y rant on a different emotionally-tired day.

All I want is a very simple “Thank you” and a tiny bit of gratitude when I go out of my way to do something for someone.

If you want to be a jerk about it, think about how I will feel if you need/want something else some other time. Do you think I’m just going to jump right up to the plate and be eager to help out? Oh, HELL-to-the-NO!

Would you?

5 responses to ““I’m Sorry” VS “Thank You”

  1. rgonaut says:

    Not the same. The dentist says sorry this is going to hurt. The waitress says sorry for the inconvenience. I suppose they could also thank you for putting up with them. I suppose he might say thank you for driving, and also apologize for inconveniencing you…but what’s his plan to stop it?

    • Thank you! I appreciate the validation.
      It’s so difficult not to get upset with him, when it seems like there is no intent to GET that driver’s license or transfer his prescription over to the pharmacy down the block.
      And, don’t get me wrong, I understand he’s sick and he actually needs the help sometimes… I don’t mind doing it if I know ahead of time… I can be a bitch, but not always!

  2. Recovering Wayward says:

    No, you correct. Your husband is using “sorry” in a passive aggressive manner that denotes anything but regret.

    • Thanks for that! Sometimes I think I am going completely insane.
      I have “called him out” on his passive-agressiveness a couple of times right after he says something PA. Even my daughters notice it — one of them acts exactly like him when things don’t go her way.
      He claims that he has never been passive agressive in his life. Even I know that EVERYONE has their PA moments…
      Is it possible to unlearn passive aggressive tendencies if it’s “habitual”?

Talk to me :-)

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