Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

I want a new face

on September 20, 2012

I have decided that I want a new face.

My body has changed.
My mind has changed.
My taste has changed.
My personality has changed.
My sexuality has changed.

Yet, I am actually quite adverse to change.
That’s where I was before. Unchangeable.

First I had to make the biggest and best change of all… I moved away from my roots.
Someday I may get into that. But I am very very glad I made THAT change.
Because now I am me – the person I was trying to find before I started making changes.

But I’m pretty sure that I’m not done changing




9 responses to “I want a new face

  1. hiddinsight says:

    You’re done changing when you’re dead 🙂

  2. rgonaut says:

    I like your attitude. You’re definitely alive!

    • What a nice thing for you to say!
      I feel more alive now than I ever have! But alive isn’t always happy…
      Maybe if I start thinking really hard about it, my face will change, too?

  3. idontwanttobebad says:

    Change is always good if it makes you a better person and happy with yourself 🙂

    • I love most of the changes in my life. The changes I made are ones that I am fairly happy of the results. But they were also very hard choices that I had to stick to for a long time to make it happen.

      I am happy with myselfnow. Happier than I ever have been. Except for my face.
      It reminds me of who I was. And, it’s an old face. I don’t feel old.
      Everything else about me feels so new and fresh – I want my face to reflect all of that new-ness

  4. confessionsofyourhusbandsmistress says:

    Change is inevitable, the lesson is how we adapt to them. I myself kick and scream like a child! Maybe one day I’ll mature enough to ride the wave.

    • True, change is the way of life. I am just learning how not to kick and scream. Last night was a total test of that for me…
      I still kick and scream… but there is a new, quiet, rational part of myself that will say positive things to me in the background. I’m starting to be able to hear that voice better and move it more to the foreground. I just say the true, rational things out loud to myself {and click my heels three times}…
      But, seriously, sometimes it makes me feel better.
      That and a good song… This morning it was “She’s a Bad Mamma Jamma”. It really picked me up – because that’s how I mostly feel about myself and that song helps remind me.

  5. […] What do you dislike most about yourself? My face […]

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