Broken!

Broken!

I am so frustrated with myself! Saturday night I broke my ankle.

It happened when I was roller skating (of course), but I wasn’t even screwing around! Sometimes I goof off and do things that seem/are pretty risky — but not this time! This time I hadn’t even been skating for 15 minutes. It was only the third song! I wasn’t even warmed up!

There was a “new” DJ (I know him and I really like his taste in music) and everyone was so excited that when Loverman and I walked into the rink our friends were saying already, “Look up in the DJ booth! Look who they got to DJ! And he’ll be here on Saturdays from now on!”(You wouldn’t know this, but last week there was a HUGE post on our Facebook group about how crappy the music has been lately — I didn’t really agree with it, but I REALLY agree with the person that was chosen to “spice it up”!) .

Anyway… I was just roller skating backwards (because that’s my favorite way to skate) slowly to a groovy song — the third song of my roller skating evening, completely unaware that it would be my last groovy roller skating song for at least 4 more months!  All of a sudden, for no reason at all that I can fathom, my body fell straight down on my left ankle. My left foot was twisted backwards and upside-down underneath my body.

I sat there on top of it for a moment and I knew I had broken my ankle just from the way I was sitting on it. There was a dull throbbing pain, but not the screaming fiery pain that I expected to go along with my bone snapping. Somehow I got my foot out from underneath me and (because I was on the far side of the rink from the exits) I started scooting on my butt towards a group of my friends that were skate-dancing together in the middle of the floor.

My Knight in Shining Armor
by ~Gloom-Midori-Hikkuko

I can only imagine the look on my face as I was scooting towards them. I think I was mouthing the words “It’s broken” over and over, but I’m a little grey on what was happening at that exact time. It took less than 5 minutes and the cute DJ had already removed my skates and put an ice pack on my left ankle. Loverman came to my side as soon as he realized what happened. He took his skates off, too, and helped me off of the rink.

Ten minutes after that he was carrying me out to my truck, in his arms, like my Knight in Shining Armor. Then, when we got to the hospital he carried me into the ER, too! (that was truly the BEST part of my night! He is SO wonderful to me!)

We got to the ER by 10PM and I was X-rayed and casted and home by 12:30. Unfortunately, I broke my ankle and tore the ligaments so badly that I will need surgery.

Yesterday I had an appointment with an Orthopedic surgeon. He explained in more detail what had happened with my ankle and what he will need to do. Originally, he wanted to do the surgery next week, but he must have seen my heart fall out of my chest and shatter on the floor because when he came back a few minutes later, he said that they would get me into surgery on noon this Friday! I am still very frustrated that this happened, but I am so happy I don’t have to wait an extra 3 days! That would have been 3 more days for me to hate myself for what happened…

I broke my Fibula down at my ankle. The surgeon needs to put in a plate and some screws. The ligament on the inside of my ankle has been completely torn so that will need to be repaired.
Because there is so much damage to THAT ligament, the surgeon said that another ligament holding my ankle bones together in the middle may also be torn. If it is, they will have to put a bolt through the middle of my ankle that will be removed in 12 weeks. That would increase my recovery time substantially.
If I don’t have to have that additional bolt through my ankle (and there are no other complications), the Dr. told me that I can be back to roller skating again in 3 to 4 months.

Even though I know that my accident was just that — an accident — I can’t get over being angry. However, I can say that my anger level is substantially lower now that I have a “plan of action” and I can see there is indeed a light at the end of my tunnel.

Because of how everything happened (like it was a total fluke – I should never have fallen the way I was skating!) and how everything is falling so nicely into place afterward (there are too many small coincidences to quantify them here. Let me just say that it’s very, VERY strange) — I know that this broken ankle was meant to happen! I know I am supposed to be learning something from this experience (ummm – it’s probably humility since I hate asking for help so much! Also, I loathe feeling like I am an imposition).

And a wonderful friend of mine told me last night that she knows something great will be coming from this! She is so excited for me that her excitement has rubbed off a little on me, too!

I can already see a pretty great thing that has come from this — I am totally feeling loved!!

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7 thoughts on “Broken!

  1. having read your story, it gave me comfort to think I am not the only one who has just broken his anke (fibula) after 40 years of skating, and I was not even moving, I was just stood up i n the middle of the rink just about to do a one legged spin and boot clipped the other sending me down to the ground landing cross legged and my bottom sat on my ankles. I did feel a crunch sensation, I then tried to straighten my self out to get up, but knew it was difficult, I then managed to get up and I have no idea how I made it to the changing rooms and take my boot off.
    I then felt my ankle and it was floppy and turned more than it should have.
    I got to hospital and had it x rayed and it was badly broken . they had to give me Valium to try and straighten my break, they did manage and then I was given a temporary cast and had to stay in hospital until swelling went down and then they could operate by metal plate and two pins which will be permanently in place because of my age and bones will not grow anymore, I was given an injection to knock me out then they operated, I woke up with an open cast and I was taken back to the ward, I was kept in another night (total three) then just before I left I had to go down to the plaster room to have the cast closed, I then went home, I am non weight bearing for six weeks, after a few days my foot was throbbing and at night I was waking up with anxiety and the thought of the cast being trapped on my leg was making me panic, I actually started to hack away at the cast to get it off, I was coming out in hot sweats and on the verge of passing out, I got through the night and in the morning I phoned the hospital and told them my situation, they suggested that I come down immediately. they removed the cast and made me a lighter one which felt a little better but did not solve my problem, they then cut up the front of the lightweight cast so it was open, and then fitted Velcro straps around the cast, they said in extreme case of panic attacks hi could loosen the straps. but I could not just loosen them on one night I had to remove it completely, I have done this every night and slept without it on, I’ve since been for xrays and doctor said healing well,
    I never told him I take it off at night!
    anyway i have no inclination of putting back on my roller skates, because of the pain the suffering and most of all going through those panic attacks its just horrendous.

    1. Thank you for reading!
      I am so sorry for your horrible experience and for your broken ankle! After my surgery I didn’t have to stay in the hospital at all. They sent me home and told me to make a follow-up appointment in a week. I did and there were no complications. I got a velcro cast a week after my surgery and my Dr. told me I could take it off for sleeping (if I don’t thrash around in my sleep) and also for showers. My doctor/surgeon was totally awesome! The hardest part for me to get through was feeling like I was useless, and then it was over. The first time I got back on my skates, I will have to admit that I was scared. But, I was also SO excited that I could go back to normality. I think my boyfriend and oldest daughter were more worried than I was when I first got back on wheels. I do have to admit, though, sometimes when something goes wrong with my skates even now, I kind of freak out a little and then I am a little paranoid to go back out on the floor. I definitely don’t want anything else to break!!

      Wait until you’ve healed a little more and you are starting to heal from the emotional trauma. You might change your mind on skating – at least if you are as fanatical about it as I am! Definitely you should always tell your doctor everything! I can’t stress that enough!

      Huggs to you for what you are going through. It might not seem like it right now, but I swear it will be over before you know it! Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing – smittenwithhim@gmail.com. Some days it might just be nice to have someone to talk to. It always helped me 🙂
      Be safe and good luck!

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