Yesterday’s conversation with Thing #1 about the lying and the skipping class went well. I found out that she doesn’t want to go to college — which is fine, I just wish she would have told me that a few weeks ago when we were talking about that exact thing. Also, it’s good because her English grades for the last 3 years are so crappy…
Now that I know what’s going on in her head we can move on with this. She knows that she was wrong for lying and using me to get her out of her first hour class. She knows that I am disappointed in her and that, for right now, my trust in her is devastated. We discussed how she would be able to “make it right” and I took absolutely none of her excuses seriously. We talked about restoring trust and why it’s more important to tell the truth no matter what!
I was going to throw her a Roller Skating party for her Graduation/Birthday (her birthday is in June so it works out pretty nicely), but I had to tell her that I can’t throw that party for her now. It was her turn to be devastated, so we worked out a deal. She has a chance to get that party back if she can pull her F in English up to a C by the time she graduates (2 months). That was agreeable, but I think she might be agreeing to everything I am saying right now just because she doesn’t want to make me any more angry/upset.
Tonight I am in a much more peaceful place and I am going to talk to her again. Yesterday, I told her that because I was so upset I would have continue our talk today. I didn’t want to say or do anything that I would regret. In the heat of the moment I am very good at saying things that ought not be said.
Smitten with Him 
Join the club, I say all kind of things that should never escape my mouth. I have a step-son who lives with us, he’s in 10th grade and has all but given up in school. He goes for the fashion show he gets to put on and to hang out with friends. It’s a hopeless situation. But he’ll be 17 in a month and I know all to well by that age there is little a parent can do.
I consider myself lucky that I don’t normally have to deal with stuff like that.
It is completely not like this daughter to act like this. Deceit isn’t her thing. That’s why it threw me for such a loop. The younger one is usually the one that makes up stories and pushes me over my limit to say things I shouldn’t say — she’s like I was when I was 15 so…
I was pretty upset that my son really has little interest in college . It’s tough to let go and let them make their own choices when you think you could save them some of the mistakes you made or didn’t make.
I really can’t say any anything when it comes to college. I didn’t go, and I don’t regret not going.
But, I agree with what you are saying. It’s hard to see her struggling with growing up. I don’t remember what it was like for me… But I want to help her as much as I can.