I recently found the most wonderful blog — Level Up Health. Lucas is truly inspirational! I wish I had found it sooner, it might have helped me get through some of my self-pity a lot faster than I did. This post actually made me cry because I was so happy for him. I am truly sorry now for all the whining I did when I was broken: I knew nothing.
Today is the day if I find out if I am completely healed. I will find out if I am ready to go back to roller skating with my sexy Loverman again; if I am able to go bounding down the stairs again; if I can run across the street when a car is coming; if I can jump; if I can resume the Tree Pose; if I can have my truck back… I am nervous. I am excited. Tears well up in my eyes when I think about the closeness of it (silly, I know…).
This will be the first appointment that I go to without Loverman. Mostly because we’re both pretty sure that the orthopedist is going to tell me good news (I feel like I am going to have to get a note in order for Loverman to believe it, though 😉 ). But, also because I am able to walk unassisted now. In fact, if you were watching me walk, you would never know that I broke my ankle at the end of November and that I now have a metal plate in it.
I am so very proud of my progress! I listened to the doctor. I took my vitamins. I completely quit smoking, to the point that I don’t even crave one any more. I didn’t gain as much weight as I thought I would. Time passed so fast that I can’t believe that it’s gone already. Amazing!!
And tonight I get my great reward for letting myself heal slowly and completely!!! I get to go away to a lovely mountain hotel and spend two nights (and two days!) in a suite with my most favorite man in the world! And I get to do that regardless of my diagnosis!
Smitten with Him 
You lucky bitch! LOL! ( Hopefully that doesn’t offend you!) Getting to go away for 2 nights with LM. Sounds perfect. Although, I did just have a little jaunt just last weekend. (not THIS past one, but the one before) Unfortunately for me though, it caused me to re-evaluate a few things and I actually have chosen to take some time off from MM. Right now, it feels like the right thing to do and I am not upset at all. It’s not that I don’t love him, it’s just a bunch of things. We are in different places in our lives and marriages and while we want(ed) each other, we just have different ways of going about getting there. And with us being so long distance, I don’t know. Something inside of me shifted, and all I can do is just be happy that I am totally at peace with this. Who knows what the future holds, right? Anyway…as for you….you lucky bitch! 🙂
And, about your ankle….congrats! So very happy for you. You know, I used to be a runner. I loved it. It was my “skating”. It was my anti-depressant, my motivation, my reason for getting up some days. And then I injured my back, and couldn’t do it. I waited for my back to heal, but it didn’t. I had surgery and while it was successful, I still couldn’t run. 6 months after surgery on my back, a disc in my neck herniated and two others were bulging. Pretty much figured out then that I had degenerative disc disease. I haven’t ever run again. I can tell you that I went through depression for 6 months after the original injury and then, even when I came to terms with things, I still struggled with not being able to run again. It still makes me sad, when I see people out running, in the new Spring weather or on hot summer days, but I have learned a greater lesson.
I ultimately learned was that I am lucky to be healthy overall. I am lucky to be able to walk. I am lucky that I am mobile and mostly pain free.(after spending nearly 8 months dealing with daily pain down both legs) I am LUCKY. I spent A LOT of time feeling sorry for myself before one day, while driving somewhere, and in a rather shitty mood, I saw a guy who was paralyzed from the waist down. He was riding one of those seated bike things that you push the wheels with your arms. He was out in the sunshine just getting it done! I thought to myself….Geez. Get over yourself. Poor you. I bet he wants to run too. I bet he wants to be able to just walk. You can keep moping and feeling sorry for yourself, or you can get your head out of your ass and find something else that you love to do. You don’t have it that bad, so straighten your ass up. And I did! 🙂 I learned not to take my health for granted, and that sometimes life isn’t fair, but that it can ALWAYS be worse. So…back to you….congrats again on that ankle! Take it easy still! Don’t rush the rest of your healing process in your excitement to get back to skating! I know you know this, but the nurturer in me has to tell you as well!
And….have fun with LM this weekend. Please report back with all of the details! LOL! (since I’ll be living through others for awhile it seems!)
Thank you! We will have a lovely time, I’m sure 🙂
Wow! You ARE lucky! Every time I read about other people’s problems it really makes mine small in comparison. And now that everything’s over, I am looking at all of it and thinking that I am really a sissy baby. But, I know that I’m not — we can only know our own reality, and my broken ankle was the worst thing that’s happened to me (So far — besides the IRS collections 😉 ) so I was devastated that it was broken.
I AM sorry that you can’t run anymore. That really stinks!!! But, way to grow and learn!!!!
Thank you so much for your words of kindness. Your tears of love has truly touched my heart. I am so happy that you’ve stayed dedicated and on course: taking the vitamins, quit smoking, maintaining your weight, etc… You’ve done fantastic! How is your ankle now :)? Are you roller skating? Jumping? And running next to a car :D?
Sometimes we have to do things by ourselves, and going to the doctor alone, is another time that only makes us stronger 🙂 Bet you shared the good news with sexy lover man after :D!
You are such an encouraging man. Reading about your struggles as you and continue to push yourself is inspirational!
I am able to skate, but no running or jumping yet. Loverman won’t let me and I totally agree, but skating has been wonderful. Being away from it made me just appreciate it that much more!
Thank you for sharing your story and providing us with motivational words and attitudes! I will continue to follow your growth and victory! Good luck, Lucas!!!