I have no idea why the fuck you are ignoring me this time!
It hurts me when you do that.
You know it
Yet you choose to hurt me anyway
Why do you do that?
There was something you said the other night as we were trying to get comfortable in bed together
Something hurtful about how you knew that getting stuck in two hours of traffic was going to come back and bite you in the ass
In fact, it is actually the choices you made leading up to that two-hour traffic delay that bit you in the ass.
You decided, at the last minute, after we had already made plans to be together, to drive 1 hour in the complete opposite direction to help someone you barely know fix his fucking vehicle.
Then you ran into “complications” and it took a lot longer than you had anticipated.
On top of it, you never called to tell me that you had decided to make this change in plans.
I actually wanted to call off the date at 8PM. I told myself that was as long as I was going to wait.
But, I waited for you 40 minutes longer than that
Because you called and stayed on the phone with me for those 40 minutes
Because I thought that was such a sweet and thoughtful gesture
Because I thought, together, we could overcome the horribleness of the evening
We have before
But, this time we did not
Maybe it was you
Maybe it was the fucking moon!
Maybe it was nothing…
But, does that make it okay for you to ignore me now?
To completely shut me out of your heart, where I am usually so welcome and comfortable?
Won’t you please tell me what I really am to you?
Am I your best friend, too?
Or am I just a convenient fuck-buddy who shares similar interests as you?
Someone who can easily be shunned or set to the side when you’re “in a mood” or you’re “wore out with it”?
How nice it is that you can just shut me out of your mind when the thought of me becomes inconvenient or unpleasant?
How many more times do you think you can do that to me before I stop calling you over and over again to see if we’re okay?
Before I stop sending you those good-morning texts to let you know I made it to work safe?
Lately, your fallback excuse has been, “I guess I’m just getting old.”
What happened to, “It’s my duty to please your booty!”?
Will you even notice when I am not around?
Will you feel that same emptiness in your heart as I do?
Like you’re missing a piece of yourself?