Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Doom-n-Gloom Goes Nielsen

on June 11, 2014

I should have written this last week when I was ranting-ass crazy about it…

A little over two weeks ago, Doom-n-Gloom approached me and told me that a couple of men with the Nielsen Ratings Company stopped by our apartment. I am surprised he answered the door and talked to them! Most of the time he’s either asleep or he just won’t answer. He really hates strangers in our home. Nevertheless, he invited them in and let them do their speel and then he told them that he had to talk to his wife (me) about it.

That evening, when I got home, he explained a little bit about it, “They will be installing a meter on your TV and DirecTV box and should be simple and non-instrusive. If you agree, they will be here Friday morning around 10 to install it. Don’t worry I will be with them in your room while they’re here.”

He showed me the booklet that they left, I flipped through it briefly and said, “I am not as excited about this as you are, but if it’s something that you want, I guess it’s okay. It seems odd that you don’t mind them ‘watching’ us, though. Do they have to put it on my TV, too, or can it just be on yours?”

He replied, “It’s an entire family thing. We all have to be a part of it. They’re going to hook up my computer and TV and Thing #2’s computer, too. The guy was really nice and said we could call them whenever. And the won’t be ‘watching’ us, they will just be seeing the shows that we’re choosing and recording and watching.”

I reservedly agreed, but I also made it very clear that I was not psyched about having someone else’s “spy gear” attached to my television. He reassured me that it would only be a box on my TV and another on the DirecTV unit. He opened up the book that they left for him to read and showed me a picture and said, “This is how it’s supposed to look once it’s installed”. In the picture there was one simple, small box attached to the back of the flat screen television with a modem and a remote. That’s all there was. In the picture it did look simple and unobtrusive, so I said “okay”.

Friday morning came and went. When I got home from work, Doom-n-Gloom said to me, “The guys that did the installation were really impressed with how neat your wiring was behind the TV. It was easy to follow the components and hook up everything. Except they did have some problems getting behind your stereo.”

That was when I lost it, “What were they doing to my stereo?” I asked. “You told me that they were only going to install their equipment on the television and DirecTV box. Why did they need to get to my stereo?”

“Don’t worry,” was his response, “they put everything back where they found it.”

I went up to my room to survey the damage and it turns out the ratings box was installed on ALL of my equipment, not  just my TV and DirecTV box like I had been told and nothing had been put back where it was found! Their shit was hooked to my stereo, my CD player, my speakers (but only the left and center ones! completely rendering my surround sound system useless!), my DVD player and my Wii. The wiring mess they left behind my television was some scary-ass shit!

I immediately flew into a rage and went to get Doom-n-Gloom so I could show him how un-neat they had been about keeping my “impressive” wiring set-up. Then, I asked him, “If you were in my room supervising them do this, why didn’t you tell them to leave it as neat as they found it?”

His response, “I didn’t know they made such a mess. Would you like me to call them and have them come and fix it?”

“Were you actually supervising when they were here?!? *dramatic pause with a death glare* If you do call them, I only want it to happen when I am home! I am not okay with them coming in here and raping my technology again. I am going to have to fix their mess to put everything back to how it was. I have Monday off for Memorial Day, if you want to have them come over then, that would be okay. Otherwise I am going to do it myself.”

The fight lasted a lot longer. It was probably 2 hours in its entirety. Doom-n-Gloom even had the balls at one point to say, “You were planning on being upset about this all along. Weren’t you?” That remark didn’t help to shorten the argument, it just made me remind him that I never once told him I was totally into this. I reminded him that I was only doing it for him because it was something he wanted and if he couldn’t respect my things and my space, I would just as soon quit it.

Big surprise. He never called them to have them come fix their mess.

Memorial Day, about 9AM, 4 days after they had installed this ratings nightmare, I started working through their stupid wiring mess. I unhooked their shit from my Wii, my stereo, my speakers, and my CD and DVD players but I still couldn’t get my stereo to work in stereo! After 3 hours of re-wiring, I finally got things hooked back up (except the surround sound), so I kicked back and watched a movie.

Mostly everything ‘important’ that belonged to Nielsen was still connected, I had disabled the things that they had wrongly-abled and I was mostly happy because I had managed to hide the majority of the wiring mess from plain sight.

Things were fine until last Wednesday. The Nielsen people were getting error messages from my machine (Go figure! I wasn’t using it correctly, or at all, and I had disconnected about 75% of their equipment) and wanted to come and see what the problem was. Doom-n-Gloom, after I told him several times, still let those mother-fuckers into my room to “fix” whatever was wrong!!

The guy that dropped by was a different guy and he agreed with Doom-n-Gloom (and ME, hello!!) that the wiring was unacceptable — of course it was, I had just unhooked most of their shit from my TV!! So, that asshole proceeded to hook everything that I had unhooked back to my stuff. Every last bit of it. While Doom-n-Gloom let him!

Doom-n-Gloom didn’t tell me that Nielsen had stopped by (I hate lies of omission with all my being!!!!). He could have called me, or texted me, or sent me an email or facebook messaged me…

But he didn’t.

Why didn’t he call me to tell me what the fuck was going on?

Because it was easier to NOT tell me.

I wouldn’t have even found out for weeks except for the new mother-fucker hooked everything back up 100%


When I got home from skating last Wednesday night, at 11PM, and turned on my television, there was no picture on the screen. Just a message that read – No Input. WTF? Things were working okay that morning when I left for work…

Keep in mind that, at this point, I was still not aware that the Nielsen people had come into my room without my consent and raped my technology (again)!

I had the TV input selected to Satellite. There was no picture. I checked to make sure the television was on channel 3 and that the DirecTV box was turned on. I checked to see if the DVD input worked. It didn’t either.

I went to my daughters’ room and asked them where one of the remotes was, told them the TV wasn’t working and I couldn’t figure out why. Thing #2 told me where it was. I found it and tried some things with that remote as well.

Nothing worked.

At 11:15PM that night I called the stupid Nielsen ‘representative’ and absolutely roiled at his voicemail, telling him that I was removing all their equipment on my TV that very night and it would be waiting for him to pick up whenever he had the time to drop by.

I was enraged that Doom-n-Gloom violated my space like that. I still am!

How is it better to NOT tell me something? I would have found out that the dude fucked up my shit eventually! Did Doom-n-Gloom think that I would never notice? We’ve been married for 20 fucking years and I have been discovering his lies of omission this entire time. Did he think I wouldn’t ever look behind my TV or ever want to switch inputs? Did he honestly think that the fight would be better if I found out on accident later!!!? At a time more emotionally convenient for him?!?

I was proud of myself, though. Through all of the fighting and arguing with him I maintained my composure and my stance. I am just so frustrated that he can’t follow simple instructions like a normal adult should be able to.

Last Thursday, all the equipment had been removed from my TV and was sitting on the kitchen table, I left Doom-n-Gloom a note with the mess:

Please don’t let the Nielsen people back up into my room again; all of their equipment is on this table.

For future reference, the only people allowed in my room are: Thing #1, Thing #2 and Thing #2’s boyfriend. No one else should ever be up in my space without my consent.

Thank you for your cooperation.

That afternoon we had this text conversation.


Since then, everything with him has been tense. I wish an apology meant something with him, but he will be saying the same thing to me in a few days when he (again) completely disregards me and does whatever-the-fuck he wants.

3 responses to “Doom-n-Gloom Goes Nielsen

  1. myipadography says:

    You go , damn I like a woman with spirit like yours

Talk to me :-)

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