Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Ummm… Ashley Madison…

on June 13, 2014

… contacted me last week and asked if I would be willing to do an interview with ABC’s Nightline regarding why women have affairs. I will wager a bet that some of you were contacted, too.

I accepted the invitation and had an interview with the CEO Wednesday during my lunch break and a conference call interview with one of ABC’s producers Thursday afternoon!


I am wondering: What are my chances of actually being on television?

“Your anonymity is guaranteed. Last time they interviewed our member, they only showed a side-shot of the lower part of her face and changed her voice. That said, if you go forward with this opportunity you will have the control to determine how you are presented on screen.”

Clearly my first interview went well because they asked me to do a second one. I thought the second interview went even better! I was candid about my relationship with Doom-n-Gloom and I touched briefly on my relationship with Loverman and then they asked if I had recently gone on a date with someone I met through Ashley Madison. That was awesome because, not only had I recently had a date with someone I met on AM, it went well, too!

The ABC producer had a lot of great questions. My favorite was: do you think that men and women cheat for different reasons? If so, what do you think they are?

I think both men and women cheat because validation is missing in their relationship, but the types of validation are different for each of the sexes.

Women cheat because men stop working on their relationship. Men get comfortable and stop saying, “I love you” or doing loving things for their women as frequently because you already know I love you, baby. Why do I have to keep telling you. Men start to get lazy and no longer try to “woo” their lady any more.

Men cheat because their women stopped taking care of themselves. Women get married and stop trying to be fit; they get mean and over-critical; they get fat, stop wearing make-up and never dress up any more; they no longer look or act sexually stimulating. Men are visually stimulated. Period.

I probably should have told them something about my blog, but I don’t know if I want them to come here. I still have time to tell them things that I “remember” or I didn’t have a chance to tell them.

Do YOU think I should tell them about my blog?

Have any of you been contacted by AM to do this Nightline special?

P.S. If I am chosen, I will totally tell you guys so you can watch/record it!!!

11 responses to “Ummm… Ashley Madison…

  1. Wow! I even went and checked my email (which I don’t use unless I’m on the sites) and nothing was there… I would have gotten a kick out of that. I think it’s hysterical you did it. If you want to maintain any privacy with the blog… better not to say anything….television is a lot less private… though maybe you can get famous for 15 minutes!~

  2. Exit 4A says:

    Happy for you, totally BUMMED for me! I was a mistress for 26yrs, and I definitely would have consented to being interviewed. “Other Women,” unite! Yes, definitely tell us when/if you’ll be on! I’ve always wanted to do an interview of this kind because I think mistresses get a bad rap, getting compared to Monica Lewinsky and her ilk—blech! And YES! Tell them about your blog and how cathartic it is to put things into perspective within such a caring, sharing environment.

    • That IS a total bummer! Do you have an Ashley Madison account?
      You would be a perfect person to interview because your relationship was so long term. It’s sad you couldn’t get included in this opportunity!

      I love this blogging environment. However, it hasn’t been until recently that I have felt the support here, though.

      • Exit 4A says:

        No, no Ashley Madison account. The online hunt is not my style. Is ABC focusing solely on women who meet men thru AM? If not give them my contact info…I’m game. I think I’m the blogger who’s had the affair of most longevity, and we were never caught, never came close to getting caught.

        Good luck!

  3. Definitely keep us posted-it will be interesting to see the episode regardless but if you are one of the women selected I’d be compelled to watch it “live” if you will. I agree with most of your thoughts around validation and the why. My only contention is around women taking care of themselves and the equation of getting fat. I’m a smaller bbw, have been for my entire life, yet I’m fit (ok, except the recurrence of cancer), active and my doctors have always commented that my “numbers” are quite healthy even though I’m overweight. Anyway, clearly I’m sensitive to that – lol.
    I wasn’t contacted by AM though my profile has been inactive for two years now. Another blogger, SassyGirl over on Blogspot was interviewed but not sure if she had a second interview or not. Her story is a bit different as she’s older and her husband knows she has dates but it’s a don’t ask don’t tell’sh scenario.
    RE: blog…the only reason I’d mention blogging in general is perhaps to talk about the support, the opportunity to “talk” about your relationship/experiences as well as the haters (especially one who shall remain unnamed but clearly lurks on our “type” of blogs!) 😉
    Let us know what happens!!

    • I will let you guys know, but I don’t think anything is going to happen with me. I haven’t heard back from them after my second interview.

      In regards to the fatness thing. I didn’t say that to hurt anyone (except maybe to illicit a reaction from you-know-who) and I should probably have worded it differently. I think it has a lot to do with change and feeling lost and like your partner isn’t there for you. And, it probably feels that way on both sides.

      XOX! I hope you’re having a good day ❤

  4. […] ABC hasn’t called back 😦 or sent me an email, to let me know if I was picked for the Nightline episode on infidelity and on-line dating. I thought they told me the episode would air the 21st. It couldn’t have been June 21st because the show didn’t air that night. So, not all hope is lost I guess. […]

  5. […] I finally received an email from Thursday in regards to me possibly being on Nightline’s second special on infidelity (see post): […]

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