I wish I had some tequila right now… 😦
Loverman went to a wedding this afternoon without me.
It was one of our skate friends that invited both of us a couple of months ago. He took down all the information in his phone, blah blah blah…
We talked about going together if he had time. So, I thought if he went, he would be going with me.
But I guess I should have expected him to go without me. I am always the one asking him to do stuff and he has a nasty habit of not sticking to what we had planned.
I found out when he texted me this evening:
Hey, babe. I went to XXX & XXX’s wedding. They missed not seeing my ‘wife’ 😐
I tried to call him before I sent my first response text. He didn’t answer.
I really really wish you had brought me.
But, I was REALLY hurt so I followed it with:
You didn’t even ask me.
My heart was hurting so much. It still is. I can’t believe he went without me!
I waited a couple more minutes and then I called him, hoping he would answer.
He answered and the first thing I said was, “I’m trying really hard not to cry. It really hurts that you didn’t talk to me or tell me you were going to that wedding. We skated together with them on Thursday. You talked to them and everything. Didn’t you think or want to ask me or let me know that you were going?”
He made a bunch of excuses:
I woke up late
My buddy wanted me to help bleed his brakes when I got up and, when I finally got going, there was hardly any time to get there
There was a motorcycle accident on the highway and it made me so late I only saw their vows
I wasn’t going there to have fun or anything, I just went to support some friends
He’s not lying. I know all of that is true. What is hurting is that he didn’t even THINK to call me and TELL me that he was leaving!
I asked him to please just tell me that he’s sorry for not asking me, and mean it.
But I can’t believe he excluded me. Just like that!
I asked him, “Before they asked you about your ‘wife’, did you even think about me?”
He didn’t answer the question. I was crying and he could tell. So he started just talking to me to make me feel better. He does that. Just on and on and on and on. Changing the subject from the wedding to everything else, because (I want to think) he felt bad for leaving me out and hurting me.
I only cried for a little while during our conversation. We talked for 45 minutes and it just ended about 20 minutes ago
I sit here feeling like there’s a lead weight on my chest. Is it possible for a heart to actually cry?
It hurts that he left me out.
It hurts that, after all this time, he still doesn’t think of bringing me to things — but I think of bringing him to everything. *sigh*
I really want some tequila right now, but tonight’s my skate night. I leave in 40 minutes.
I don’t even want to go, but I have to because it’s exercise and I need to exercise. It will help.
They’re just feelings and they will pass.