Loserman was supposed to help me replace the alternator in Breezy Saturday. Help me do it.
But before that could happen, last Monday afternoon I got a text from him:
I can work on Breezy tomorrow (Tuesday) since it’s supposed to be warm.
So, Tuesday morning before I left for work, I put $100 in the trunk along with the new alternator and belt. The cash was supposed to be his payment – time/labor/trip charge, whatever… He’s my mechanic now or Loserman, not my “boyfriend” or AP (or loverman).
He didn’t come over Tuesday as planned. I was hardly surprised. I wasn’t at the forefront of his radar before, why would I be now?
At 3:30 Tuesday afternoon, I got the following message:
Hey, wanted to let you know that I didn’t get a chance to put the alternator on due to I was babysitting and now going to take a nap. I will do it tomorrow.
I simply texted back, “Okay”.
Earlier, I had decided that for each day he was late in replacing my alternator, I was going to take away $20 from his payment. I didn’t tell Loserman.
Tuesday night, before I went to bed, I took $20 out of the trunk.
I didn’t hear from him again until I was getting ready to go to lunch Wednesday afternoon, when we had the following text conversation (Loserman is Red and I am Blue):
I needed to know if the core and the new belt were in there with the receipts so I could get my $53 back.
Also, I left his roller skates in the trunk for him to take “home” (and I was feeling a bit passive-aggressive, I’ll admit it). They were a birthday gift from me 2 years ago. I figured that, if he wasn’t going to be skating with me, he might as well have them to skate. His old ones are falling apart and are held together with duct tape.
Nice. Burned again.
If he’s returning the skates I gave him (and he’d better be careful, I might just donate the fuck out of them!), does that mean I have to return the things that he gave me?
Because I don’t want to.
I am using the speakers he put in my truck, and the sunroof motor. However, I have thought about giving back the Cartier Delices he gave me. Smelling like that is heavenly, but it reminds me of him…