…instead of acting like a giddy schoolgirl
What’s your favorite color?
What day is your birthday?
Do you like pizza? Sushi? Wine? Red or White?
There are plenty more, I’m sure. (please feel free to add some.)
I actually managed to work in some actual questions and relatively articulate conversation (I think). I was so nervous I was shaking almost the entire time. I don’t know WTF was wrong with me.
Now that I think about it, maybe it was excitement. I really liked him.
First, he texted me that he had already arrived. Oh my gosh! He was 10 minutes early.
I was almost there so I wasn’t worried about that part. But, there was construction going on in the parking lot and I had to circle the building once. Then, when I parked, I couldn’t find the entrance to the sidewalk because it was all blocked off for construction.
As I was walking between a couple of cars to get to the sidewalk, I hear, “Hey,” and looked around but didn’t see anyone. There was another “Hey”. I knew he was there but I didn’t see him. He waved and then I saw him across the way from me. I would have run up to meet him like I mentioned to him earlier, but I was wearing pointy-heeled boots and I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself.
So, I sexily strode across to him (at least I tried) and greeted him face-to-face. I really was shaking at this point, or shivering… I don’t know. Ask him. It was crazy. No one has affected me like that before. Not that intensely right away.
We kissed. I wanted that so badly. To feel that acceptance.
I could feel my body trembling and Mr. X asked me if I wanted to wait outside with him and take a few minutes to relax. He leaned up on the side of his car and asked me to lean onto him. Again, exactly what I wanted.
I tried to relax as I leaned my body onto his. I looked up into his eyes. I rested my head on his chest. I felt comfortable. Warm. Nice. But I was still shaking like crazy – it was a beautiful afternoon, I wasn’t cold!
We stood outside, hugging, kissing, getting comfortable for probably 10 minutes when I finally decided I was ready to go inside.
We ordered and sat down at a table in the sun. The construction was quiet when we sat down.
Mr. X set up the umbrella over our table and we talked for a while.
I made the complete wrong choice. It was a lovely day, but I was face-forward to the the sun and was trying to look Mr. X in the face. It made it hard to listen and focus. And I really wanted to.
Then the construction started again and it was getting dusty. Earlier Mr. X said something about how it might get dusty… I said (agreed), “This was a bad choice.”
He asked if I wanted to go inside.
I did. But, before we went back in, Mr. X said, “Wait.” He fiddled around in his pocked for a second and pulled out a rose.
It was lovely! I seriously can’t remember the last time a man gave me a flower.
So lovely that, in the process of finding a table inside, I think I tripped over like 3 things. While he was walking behind my clumsy ass! *sigh*
And I was pretty much a hot mess the entire time we were talking.
He said that, of 3 things that I was scared to tell him about, #1 and #2 had explanations and weren’t that big a deal to him, but #3, the one where I said I had a blog, had no explanation at all and he was very curious.
I told him it was pretty much a live journal kind of thing.
We talked about other stuff, but he persisted about the blog.
He gave me permission to talk about him (good, huh? 😉 )
I told him that I thought it would probably make things easier for both of us if I just let him read my blog.
The biggest truth about me is here.
Right before we left, he reached into his pocket again and pulled out another rose.
We said goodbye and kissed again in the parking lot. Let me just say, I want to kiss a lot more of him than just his lips.
Things went so well.
I was pleased.
And floating on cloud 9 when I got back to work.
Things went so fast with Mr. X, but it felt good.
Comfortable. But exciting!
He texted me later to remind me to send him my blog name.
I did. (I am scared to lay it all out there for him to see, but you guys still like me 😉 so I thought “What the hell?”)
During my commute home I had time to think about the entire date. How kind and patient Mr. X was with my nervousness and excitement. How he sensed the rise and fall of my emotions. Just thinking about it got me excited all over again. I tried to slow everything down in my head. I tried to pull out the thoughts that I was feeling while we were together.
I really enjoyed his company. When we were touching I felt more at ease, relaxed. Looking deep into his eyes is amazing!
I also chastised myself for being such a hot mess. I must have seemed like a complete lunatic. And he was so sweet to me the entire time (maybe because he felt bad for the crazy girl 😉 ).
On my way home I stopped at the library to pick up some CDs. While I was inside talking to the librarian, I got a call on my phone but didn’t look at it. I figured that it was one of my daughters calling to see why I was late and would call them back in a minute.
When I looked, I saw that it was a missed call from Mr. X.
How pleasant and unexpected!
I called him back right away and asked, “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to call you,” he answered. My heart melted.
We talked for a little over 15 minutes. It was comfortable. Just like lunch.
I can’t wait to meet again.
Smitten with Him 
Wonderful !!!!
😀
It sounds great. W reads my blog. As I result I don’t blog as much or as honestly as I might of I knew he might be reading. I don’t know if he reads it or not, but I know he could so I don’t put it out there like I would if I knew be had no clue about my blog.
There is something exciting about letting a person you care about see the bare bones of you though. Also, a sense of validation too. It’s exciting.
I totally understand what you’re saying and I hope that doesn’t happen with me here.
I read recently that having a blog can help in a Dom/sub relationship. Sometimes it’s easier to put words down than to say them. When I can put it here, he can then see the things that I am uncomfortable or reticent to talk about. As my Sir, he would need to know all of that anyway…
We texted this morning and I told him it felt intimate, exposing myself to him like that. Letting him know everything and have him still accept me. It’s sexy in a way, but nerve-wracking, too.
I am really looking forward to trying this out!
I told Tony about my blog right away. In fact, it was in my dating profile that I had one (not the address). It was really scary to give him the link because I liked him so much. I didn’t do that until after we had spent our first weekend together. Even then, after I knew he really liked me, too, it felt so much different exposing myself like that. My every thought is there, some of which I’m embarrassed about, others that have changed, and words written in the heart of the moment that are exceedingly emotional. It was difficult to put that all out there, unedited.
It did change the way I wrote. And how much. Part of that is because my blog was very turmoil based, and that went away after I had him in my life. Part of it is that he much prefers to hear things first, before everyone on the Internet knows, too. That is fair, I think, but it also really makes me reconsider writing my thoughts on my blog, which used to be just for me.
He doesn’t really get the fact that hearing feedback and comments from people I don’t know in person can be very validating and helps me to find perspective on things that I’m not quite completely in touch with yet. Or how it can be easier to get feelings out that way, re-read them, and consider outside perspectives. It helps me sort out my feelings and organize them, determine what was emotional only, what is accurate, what is important, and what isn’t before I talk about it in person. That means I’ve had to change my process to accommodate what makes him feel comfortable and respected and loved. Whole it has been a difficult adjustment, it has been worth it for improving our relationship.
Thank you for weighing in on this. I am hoping that Mr. X Understands that I do blog for the validation and different perspectives. Last night I thought about it a lot – whether I would still be able to be as candid as I have been in the past. Also, the fact that there are probably going to be things he doesn’t want me to put here…
Telling Mr. X everything up front was really scary for me. Loserman watched me go through the process with my teeth and I didn’t tell him about the meth until we had been together for some time. It’s nice to know that Mr. X accepts me for all that. And, after reading my blog for the last two days, I am encouraged that he is still talking to me 😉
It might turn out that I don’t feel the need to blog as much because there isn’t as much turmoil, like you said. Hopefully so, actually! I am so glad that you found someone as wonderful as Tony ❤ XO!
So happy to hear that meeting him went so well! It’s always a relief to get that out of the way.
I’ve been talking to a man that I met through WP but it will probably be a while before we can meet ’cause we live 6 states apart. I’ll be a nervous wreck when the time finally comes. Since we met on here, we’re already familiar with each others blogs, so we already know what each other is in to (he’s dominant & I’m submissive).
Well, I’m looking forward to hearing more about your Mr. X.
Take care!!
I hear you on the nervous wreck part. Hopefully he handles you as well as Mr. X “handled” me yesterday 🙂
XO! ❤ Happy Hump Day 😉
late to the party but happy that so far, you like mr. x and he in turn, likes you 😀 you are very brave my friend, for giving him the address to your blog. while “he” knows about and follows my tumblr, I haven’t been able to give him the address to my blog. not yet. {hugs}
XOX! And he still likes me after reading a ton of my blog, too. That’s very encouraging.
I never told Loserman about my blog. He had no idea. I think he would be upset to know.
Omg! How wonderful!
Thank you! It was. I am SO looking forward to seeing him again. Much, much more of him 😉
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