The other day my broken heart felt like a panic attack
It started racing
My mind chased after
I had to remind myself to breathe…
“Why do you let him have that much power over you?” I asked myself
I miss us.
Not Loserman so much, but US…
What we were together
When we were awesome
Or were we ever really awesome?
Was I just lying to myself because I wanted us to be awesome?
I am SO angry with him for breaking us
For making me question what we were
I don’t even want us back
I don’t think we could even have us back
So now I’m trying to start fresh all over again
With someone else
Something different we’re learning together
It’s hard to be newly vulnerable and trusting
While I’m still hurting
But he’s being vulnerable, too
I am thankful for this blog so I can just word-puke it all out there
And I don’t have to try and explain all these feelings to Mr. X
He’s trying to help me, but I’m blocking part of myself from him
Right now I wish he could fix me
Beat it out of me
Tickle it, kiss it, love it
SCARE IT OUT!!!
I don’t know, just make it go away!
The memories hurt and I want to forget every bit of it