Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Oops! I did it again…

on March 14, 2015

It turns out I like this being-passive-aggressive-thing when dealing with Loserman

Loserman did NOT work on my truck, Bear, last weekend like he promised (but he did manage to move it to the other side of the parking lot – something he’s also supposed to be doing).

So, I called him Monday morning while I was driving to work.

Before I called him, though, I did think about it for a minute:

Am I calling him to pick a fight? No. He didn’t work on my truck like he told me he was going to and I want to know WTF?
Is this about him showing up unexpectedly at skating Saturday night?
Maybe, but he didn’t work on my truck like he told me he was going to and I want to know WTF?

As you may have probably figured, the conversation didn’t go well.

He was at work when I called him and, when he answered, he put me on speakerphone (hey, at least he answered, right?). That way we would be able to have a “public” conversation like he wants (which is what I was trying to avoid Saturday night) and he would be able to maintain the power throughout our talk.

People would come into the security dispatch office in the middle of my sentence and then Loserman would just cut me off to talk to his co-worker – he didn’t say “excuse me a sec” or put me on mute or anything like that… And he just kept doing it…

About 10 minutes into the phone call I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would be at work now. If I hang up and let you go back to work, can I trust that you will call me back later today so we can talk about this more privately?

I don’t want to talk about this privately,” was his response. “If you have something to say to me, you better talk to me right now because I won’t be able to call you back later.”

Are you telling me that you don’t have the time in your busy schedule to take 5 minutes and shoot out a simple update text to me every week? You know that if you would just communicate with me like I have been asking all along, we wouldn’t even be having this stupid talk right now because I would know what the fuck is going on? All I ask is that you keep me updated on what you’re doing with MY FUCKING SHIT! I hate that you are controlling me here by holding my truck hostage. You’ve castrated me and I don’t know how to take back my power.

I’m not holding your truck hostage,” was all he had a chance to say before someone else came into the security office and started talking to him and picking up their keys. Loserman didn’t have any common decency or respect to say anything to me, he just ignored me like I wasn’t there.

When he started talking to me again (it was hard to tell), he gave me the same exact story he’s been telling me this entire time, almost every single word of it: he’s cleaning the parts, he’s waiting on an o-ring… And then he added, “And I have to buy an air drill because I stripped that bolt on the timing belt housing“. (which opened up an entirely new can of worms – now I have to wait for him to buy stuff in addition to the things he needs for my truck?)

He even had the gall to say, “I still need to go to the junkyard and pick up some parts. I was going to do that a couple of weeks ago, but I didn’t hear back from you so I didn’t go.”

What the fuck!?!

And this is MY fault??

It took everything in my power not to scream back at him as a response.

You can check your Facebook page,” I said with fire in my tone, “I commented three fucking times that day on your posts and you completely ignored them.”

No you didn’t. I didn’t see anything.

Well, you can go and check. They’re right there on your page. I said: ‘Will you pimp my truck, too?’, ‘Sweet! So, are you pulling parts for my truck tomorrow? Need any help?’ & ‘Cool!!! Engine parts to fix my truck!!’. I was ready to put on 15 layers of clothing and climb around filthy-dirty freezing metal broken vehicles all afternoon to get this shit done.

Oh, trust me, I’m going to check“, was his stupid response. (ooooh. I’m so scared… shaking in my boots here…)

Then he brought up Saturday night, “But I heard that you aren’t comfortable in my presence any more so you probably didn’t want to go anyway.” (“in my presence” is exactly how he said it)

(ARGH!) “I need you to stop telling me what I think and how I feel. You don’t know. I want to get my truck fixed so bad it hurts. I wanted to pull parts at the junkyard. We used to be a team. We used to be able to work together and get things accomplished. Now just talking to you is a struggle. Every single time. And you keep blowing me off.”

Again someone came into the office and Loserman ignored me…

When it seemed like it was safe to talk again, I said, “You know, I would really appreciate it if you would just call me back later. I don’t like how you’re treating me right now and *I* feel rude for bothering you at work.”

How am I treating you?

It’s very disrespectful that you’re forcing me to have this talk with you in front of all your co-workers. Why can’t you just call me back later so we can talk about this in private?

Because you don’t feel comfortable around me.

(Hmmm… It seems that you are the one not comfortable around me, Mr. I-Will-Only-Talk-to-You-in-Public-So-There-Are-Witnesses.)

Yeah, that’s right. I don’t feel comfortable around you any more. Why should I?! You broke up with me!

I didn’t break up with you.

Oh yeah?!?! Ummm… You gave me back ALL of my stuff, returned my keys and you even gave me back the roller skates that I gave to you as a birthday present two years ago! Then you completely stopped talking to me! If that’s not breaking up with a person, I don’t know what is.

I have your keys.

Yeah, of course you do. I had to give them back to you so you could work on my truck. (Moron!)

Someone else came into the security office and, this time, it took an extraordinarily long amount of time (either that or I had become fed up at that point, I don’t know). The thought of hanging up on Loserman had already passed through my head a few other times during our conversation. This time I wasn’t able to fight the urge.

I pulled the phone away from my ear and pressed the END button.

Once I parked Breezy, I sent Loserman a text message:

Thank you. I am sorry to bother you at work. Please keep me updated on what’s going on. You can call or message me any time. Please let me know when is a good time to get in touch with you?

Surprise, surprise! I haven’t heard from him since.


Here’s where the passive-aggressive part comes in.

I posted some shit on my Facebook page that only *he* can see.

For instance, this poem that I wrote for his birthday last year, along with: “Remember this heart poem I wrote for you (and all the others)? I wish you felt this way about me…”


And I also posted the words I wrote about/to him a few weeks ago.

I don’t care if he responds or even reads them.

Just putting them there, where he could see them, made me feel a little bit better!

5 responses to “Oops! I did it again…

  1. Oh god I’m sorry you *have* to deal with him. Frustrating isn’t even the beginning I’m sure! Hope you have a stress free weekend {hugs}

  2. shameless says:

    hmmm I never even though of doing that post only he can see thing on my fb wall lmao perfect!

    • I am not actually recommending that you do such a horrible thing! I am just sick of so much bullshit.

      • 2bshameless says:

        I know but it’s a way of getting my point across if he looks at my wall – if he doesn’t then he never knew I had any thoughts about it one way or the other but if he’s looking then he cares and I want him to know what I think – true I could msg him but then I feel like I’m seeking attn from him – he has to look at my page to see them – perfect for me 😉

Talk to me :-)

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