Just Fucking Tell Me

Just Fucking Tell Me

There was supposed to be a real-life story that goes along with my question, but I just couldn’t articulate it well.

I am so emotionally conflicted about it that I am having a hard time putting it in words. Probably because it hits so close to my heart right now… I’ve tried typing it out and I’ve tried writing it down.

No matter what, I can’t make the story come together congruently.

Ultimately, though, here is my question (to be followed up by more later, I’m sure):

Do men avoid breaking up with a woman by forcing her to break up with him first?

This weekend, Skaterman told me that, for over a month, he’s been treating Amy like shit intentionally in hopes that she would break up with him once and for all.

(She did.)

I asked him why he didn’t just tell the poor girl (a month ago, when this bullshit started) that he wasn’t interested in her any more. He simply responded, “It’s easier this way.”

What. The. Fuck.

Image result for hurt feelings

So, now I wonder:

Did Loserman intentionally ruin our vacation because he wanted *us* to break up? Did he hurt me because stopped loving liking me but he doesn’t want to tell me? Is he intentionally fucking around with my truck because he knows that, eventually, I will just give up trying and finally leave him the fuck alone?

Is that what Mr. X is doing? Giving me his word and breaking it… Knowing that ultimately I will get so disappointed and frustrated with him that I will completely give up trying to talk to him… ??? Am I so annoying he can’t even take the time to tell me?

Is it really easier that way?

Honestly, I have to say that I would much rather be told.

Even if you’re afraid of hurting my feelings, please just fucking tell me that I’m too ugly or too fat or too smelly or too needy or too stupid or too germy or too loud or too vulgar…

…tell me that you don’t like my hair or that you’re embarrassed to be seen in public with me or that my touch disgusts you or that everything about me annoys the crap out of you. Or just plain tell me you don’t like me any more.

What the fuck ever! I don’t care.

At least then I would fucking know what the hell is going on!

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9 thoughts on “Just Fucking Tell Me

  1. I’m pretty sure that if you’ve watched someone do it to someone else, chances are that yup, that’s just what they do and probably did it to you as well.

    I believe generally people like to avoid conflict. Men in particular won’t ever close a door (my Mom reminded me of this when I started dating). They won’t proactively break up with you. They will do what it takes to have you end it. Then it’s a) your decision, not theirs, and b) avoids conflict, to a point.

    I’m sure there are exceptions…

    1. You’re lucky. My mother never told me anything about dating: except that sex is very, very, VERY evil!

      Thanks, Ann! This is some bullshit that I have already shared with my daughters in hopes of giving them more power out there than I had/have…

  2. My experience has shown me that the men I have dated/been with are generally good guys. We discuss when we don’t think things are working out; something that I have really not experienced in a while. But I don’t put up with any, not any bullshit. It does not take me more than once to know someone is not interested. I believe Smitten that you just need to think more highly of yourself. You are important, beautiful, hard working, generous, loving, etc. But YOU need to believe that. I’d be alone Completely ALONE before I took such disrespect from anyone. I really mean that. You have to realize that you don’t need these losers!! You can make it on your own. It does not mean that there will never be anyone in your life, but you want to wait for the right person who deserves you to come along. and he will. The losers don’t deserve to eat your shit…

Talk to me :-)

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