Right now I am on my second visit to TC.
I have total mixed feelings about it. Sometimes I am totally excited and then, other times…
I don’t know, you tell me –
Since last month’s visit (which I haven’t even finished writing about), it’s like TC has become an entirely different person than the one I first met on Twitter. He’s become so withdrawn.
He used to message me every morning and every night; we would talk for hours on the phone. Now I’m lucky if he even responds to my messages/texts.
Last Monday morning I texted him pictures of me wearing the underwear that he bought me with a message that I hoped the pictures would bring him some happy throughout the day.
Nothing at all.
For the rest of the week there were a few very scattered texts from him throughout the week. Pretty much every single one was him telling me that he isn’t blowing me off, he’s just dealing with a “shitstorm” right now.
Every other day or so he would send me a meme. He was throwing me bones like I asked *sigh*
Saturday afternoon, I sent him these pictures:
Along with the message, “This is what I was going to send to you, but I think I might just wear it to you instead.”
He didn’t respond until very late at night and all he fucking said was, “I guess I should check my phone more. Have a good night.”
Five weeks ago, I would have gotten something more like, “WOW! Mami, you are so beautiful. Thank you…. Hooo!” And then he would send something sexy back and we might have totally amazing phone sex.
What the fuck?!
That really hurt my feelings.
I want to ask him what the fuck!? You liked me until I said, “I love you”.
What the fuck!?!
He has time to go onto his Twitter account and like other girls’ boobie pics and have conversations with them and share their shit, but I send him anything of the sort and he can’t even acknowledge that I exist?
What good would it do to remind him who actually said the “L” word first and how incredibly worked up he got about it afterward because he broke a promise to himself? And how I didn’t say it back that day because he made the situation so very awkward once the word was puked?
There is a HUGE part of me that still thinks that this is all some kind of test he’s giving me, but then I know that he is busy with work and, also, his cousin died last weekend.
So, I’ve been quiet, too. Offering up my support as best as I can from 1,000 miles away. Trying not to get worried and reassuring myself with the fact that I have that sexy underwear he bought me and a little stuffed Tigger doll to keep me company when he can’t be around.
I’ve been totally confused and trying really hard not to think about it. Thinking just gets me into more trouble. Now, add in the lack of communication…
Is he making himself unlikable on purpose? To what end? If he doesn’t like me and doesn’t want me, why doesn’t he just man the fuck up and tell me? What is this fucking pussy-ass shit?!? If one of those boobie ladies is his new Twitter Crush, why can’t he just fucking say so? It will hurt, but it will
Every one of you who told me he’s dumping me by not dumping me…?
Yeah. It looks like you were right. I knew you were right all along, I was just hoping (truly hoping) that he wasn’t going to be like the others. I was hoping that he really was busy working. I keep telling myself that, but my head keeps filling up with negative thoughts.
Regardless, I’m in Houston now. So, I will have a great time getting my brains fucked out, having him buy me dinner and going roller skating.
But, as it stood last night when I updated this post, I am planning on giving him back all of his stuff at the end of my trip and telling him that we’re done.
I’ll be the fucking man yet again and be the person who actually breaks off the “relationship.” *smh*
Unless, of course, a miracle happens while I’m visiting and some how he finds some way to make up for his recent extreme douchebaggery or has some amazingly believable excuses.
My fingers are crossed, but I am not holding my breath.
I learned that lesson from Loserman.