Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

A Whole Different Person

on August 21, 2015


Right now I am on my second visit to TC.

I have total mixed feelings about it. Sometimes I am totally excited and then, other times…

I don’t know, you tell me –

Since last month’s visit (which I haven’t even finished writing about), it’s like TC has become an entirely different person than the one I first met on Twitter. He’s become so withdrawn.

He used to message me every morning and every night; we would talk for hours on the phone. Now I’m lucky if he even responds to my messages/texts.

Last Monday morning I texted him pictures of me wearing the underwear that he bought me with a message that I hoped the pictures would bring him some happy throughout the day.

No response.

Nothing at all.

For the rest of the week there were a few very scattered texts from him throughout the week. Pretty much every single one was him telling me that he isn’t blowing me off, he’s just dealing with a “shitstorm” right now.

Every other day or so he would send me a meme. He was throwing me bones like I asked *sigh*

Saturday afternoon, I sent him these pictures:

tied tied2

Along with the message, “This is what I was going to send to you, but I think I might just wear it to you instead.”

He didn’t respond until very late at night and all he fucking said was, “I guess I should check my phone more. Have a good night.”

Five weeks ago, I would have gotten something more like, “WOW! Mami, you are so beautiful. Thank you…. Hooo!” And then he would send something sexy back and we might have totally amazing phone sex.

What the fuck?!

That really hurt my feelings.

I want to ask him what the fuck!? You liked me until I said, “I love you”.

What the fuck!?!

He has time to go onto his Twitter account and like other girls’ boobie pics and have conversations with them and share their shit, but I send him anything of the sort and he can’t even acknowledge that I exist?

What good would it do to remind him who actually said the “L” word first and how incredibly worked up he got about it afterward because he broke a promise to himself? And how I didn’t say it back that day because he made the situation so very awkward once the word was puked?


There is a HUGE part of me that still thinks that this is all some kind of test he’s giving me, but then I know that he is busy with work and, also, his cousin died last weekend.

So, I’ve been quiet, too. Offering up my support as best as I can from 1,000 miles away. Trying not to get worried and reassuring myself with the fact that I have that sexy underwear he bought me and a little stuffed Tigger doll to keep me company when he can’t be around.

I’ve been totally confused and trying really hard not to think about it. Thinking just gets me into more trouble.  Now, add in the lack of communication…

Is he making himself unlikable on purpose? To what end? If he doesn’t like me and doesn’t want me, why doesn’t he just man the fuck up and tell me? What is this fucking pussy-ass shit?!? If one of those boobie ladies is his new Twitter Crush, why can’t he just fucking say so? It will hurt, but it will





Every one of you who told me he’s dumping me by not dumping me…?

Yeah. It looks like you were right. I knew you were right all along, I was just hoping (truly hoping) that he wasn’t going to be like the others. I was hoping that he really was busy working. I keep telling myself that, but my head keeps filling up with negative thoughts.

Regardless, I’m in Houston now. So, I will have a great time getting my brains fucked out, having him buy me dinner and going roller skating.

But, as it stood last night when I updated this post, I am planning on giving him back all of his stuff at the end of my trip and telling him that we’re done.

I’ll be the fucking man yet again and be the person who actually breaks off the “relationship.” *smh*

Unless, of course, a miracle happens while I’m visiting and some how he finds some way to make up for his recent extreme douchebaggery or has some amazingly believable excuses.

My fingers are crossed, but I am not holding my breath.

I learned that lesson from Loserman.

21 responses to “A Whole Different Person

  1. I’m so disappointed in TC! He seemed like such a good, decent and attentive man and this behaviour is completely unacceptable. I think you should consider getting him to explain himself and making sure he understands how this rude and insensitive behaviour of his has made you feel.
    I hope you get the result you want.
    Kat x

    • Thanks, Kat. We talked very briefly about it, but I did not want to be confrontational. He is a good and decent man and every one of us acts differently. As some of the latter comments state, we’re just wired differently.
      It was a good weekend.
      Again this time, Saturday night was tough going, and I can’t figure out wtf…

  2. Selina says:

    HUGGS!!!!! I hate that your going though this but as you already know you are an AMAZING woman and deserve an AMAZING man. and if you can’t be that…NEXT!!!!

  3. I do understand how you feel. All I can say is that you deserve someone who will make you feel loved and cherished all the time. Perhaps this guy is wired differently than you. Maybe he just can’t give you what you need. Also I read somewhere that the way men love is different than us. They make the girl fall in love with them first and THEN they decide whether or not they want to continue the relationship. It’s sick, right. I hope my ramblings have helped you even a little. I do know the pain of feeling rejected. Keep your chin up beautiful.♥♥

    • That is really messed up! In a sick, sad way it kind of does make me feel a little better, though. Thanks! ❤

      I am not sure that there is a someone-who-will-make-you-feel-loved-and-cherished out there for everyone. Maybe I am overly-cynical, but sometimes I think we should just take what we can find and work with it. I think it's idealistic to think there is someone out there who will take care of me the way I want them to.

  4. oceanswater says:

    My opinion (for whatever it’s worth) is that he probably didn’t want you to come in the first place this weekend… but you would not take his “subtle” hints and tell him to go to hell. Who cares if you had purchased tickets to Houston, they could be used for another flight. Even if not, he just does not have the same interest as you. Guys expect a woman to take the hints without having to spell it out and hurt their feelings. Women need to learn to see and believe when a man shows himself to you. Stop chasing! Don’t be so available!

    • Thank you for being so candid. I do not know how to respond.

      • oceanswater says:

        It’s OK, you don’t have to respond. I was just giving you my opinion. I hate seeing you shit upon over and over again, but remember, that’s the definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result). Something has to change and that something is YOU. Put yourself up on a pedestal and stop waiting for their text messages and phone calls. Do your own thing. As I tell many women, don’t be so available to these guys. We do teach people it’s OK to treat us a certain way… Smitten, you are a sweet girl and deserve better. Better is only going to arrive when you expect it.

        • I thought I WAS doing things different. Now that it has worked out the fucking same as before I feel like shit and like I am completely bat-shit fucking crazy to even have thought things could workout , or to have even wasted my time trying! But I tried to do EVERYTHING different. Every single fucking thing!

  5. I agree with oceanswater on this one – you shouldn’t have gone on the trip. Listening to signals is hard when you don’t want to have your eyes and ears open.

    I’m disappointed that he couldn’t be more open with you, but now perhaps you’ll be able to choose a different behavioural path and stop chasing something that isn’t worth it.

    I’m sorry. I know it’s hard.

  6. miss agatha armstrong says:

    Darling girl… These trials are there to make us realize that we are worth so much more …

  7. Kay says:

    Sadly a lot of men don’t have the balls to just break up with a woman themselves. You know the guy is deserving when you have made it a few months, maybe more and his attention hasn’t wavered. With any relationship, it’s exciting for the first little while then it wears off and that is when you find out if the person is genuine or not. I dated a guy on and off for years and every time we were “on” he would be attentive for a month or two and then his interest dwindled we broke up again and then rinse and repeat every 6 months or so. Wishing you the best!

    • As you were before, you are still correct.
      I was in this same situation just a little while ago – TC started out to be different so I thought things would be different. I really appreciate your support and your positive words!!

      • Kay says:

        I wish I had been wrong about him. The one thing I learned that worked well for me is that I gained confidence in myself. Then when I went on dates I never cared if the guy liked me or not. I was 100% happy being single and not needing a man. I think men like that sort of independence. I know I had a lot more guys coming back for more once my attitude towards dating changed. Now I am with someone who treats me well and puts me #1. You will find a good guy. He’s out there.

  8. secretthots says:

    I’m sorry to hear this; I wish only good things for you. Ihope you can figure out what you need to do for yourself. Relatedly, I read this earlier today – it really resonated for me and I wondered if it might for you, too?

    Lola xo

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