Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

The Beginning of the End

on September 4, 2015
Read Part 1 here

Anyway, Sunday night “Good nights” were crap.

While I was in the air on my way home from my first trip to see him, TC had been reading my blog. He read the table of contents – more precisely the “Other ‘Other’ Men” page (which was temporarily removed… Too little too late. I know. The damage had already been done…). I went to bed completely hating on myself.

After such an awesome weekend with him, I wanted to have some time to swoon. But instead, this.

Therefore, Monday morning sucked. To make it worse, on top of my hating myself, TC avoided me all day long. He didn’t respond to my messages on Facebook and I think I even sent him a text. I tried to stay positive, though. Reminding myself that he has two jobs and a daughter; eventually that all has to factor in. I got used to his attention daily when, in reality, he has much more important things to deal with than me.

I felt so yucky Monday afternoon that I almost called to cancel a job interview I had scheduled for Tuesday morning. But I didn’t.

We ended up talking on the phone Monday night, about the fact that he realizes he was reading old posts/pages that were not happening in current time. He mentioned that he wanted to go over kind of a timeline of events with me so he could understand better. I told him that it was during a time of turmoil for me and made some bad choices.

His response was so amazing, “They weren’t necessarily bad choices because they brought you to me.”

It felt wonderful to hear those words.

Tuesday morning I had my interview. TC was so encouraging before I went and then after I was done! It felt great, like we were back to normal.

He thanked me for the selfies that I sent him after lunch, but then he dropped off the grid for the rest of the day.

Until bedtime when I sent him kisses.

For the next 24 hours, I barely heard anything from him. Which was strange because, every day he had been sending me a good morning message, we would chat at lunch, then a conversation at night…

Wednesday evening, after more silence, I asked via text if he was upset with me.

It turns out that his ex-wife and in-laws decided to “surprise” him with his parents for dinner! He hasn’t spoken to his mother in years. On purpose. He called me in the middle. For a couple of minutes we talked, I encouraged him. We talked again later that night when he returned home.

I thought things went well.

Again on Thursday night he had dinner with the family. If I remember correctly, we messaged briefly before going to bed.

Friday we talked on the phone past midnight, had some incredible phone sex and then sent dirty pictures to each other before going to sleep. The conversation ended with him saying to me:


It seemed like things were back to normal and that we had worked through our ‘misunderstanding’. Doesn’t it?

Saturday we texted throughout the day. He was working, I was running errands. Again, things seemed like they were back to normal.

That evening, I sent him some pictures of me wearing one of the bras that he gave me and asked if he was still working. He answered that he would be a couple more hours.

So, a couple of hours later I sent him another text asking if he was done yet.

Immediately he called and joked with me. He said, “So you’re bored and now you want me to entertain you? Is that what this is?”

I thought he was teasing. Maybe, at the time, he thought he was teasing too.

During that conversation, TC told me that he owed me an apology for thinking I was a whiny pee-pee head about my really bad rash. He was planning on taking me out for a nice dinner when I saw him in August to make up for it.

Sunday was quiet. And Monday.

I spent all that time thinking about him and how he thought I was a whiny pee-pee head…

Monday evening we had our first fight.


The beginning of the end…

Kinda anticlimactic, huh?

11 responses to “The Beginning of the End

  1. Megan says:

    Wow….talk about being blind-sided. How can guys do that – everything fine one week, and then bam! you’re toast the next….

  2. Kay says:

    I guess I missed the part where you met via this blog. You would think before even getting involved, he would have read the whole blog to make sure there wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.

    • That’s what I thought, too! He introduced himself to me on Twitter after he read a post on my blog back in March, I think…

    • Da Absentee says:

      Im with Kay. This blog is your diary. You shouldnt be ashamed of what you place in this space. I am at a lost tho. Why is the cast of characters removed? Is it because he finally saw it. Or is it that you are saving face by taking it down. As a faithful follower i think you should put it back up. If it was taken down because of TC. I am sorry that this didnt workout. Know you are loved even if it is only in this capacity. We are your team and on your side.

  3. Kay says:

    I think I would have a really hard time writing how I really felt about a boyfriend if I knew he read my blog. Kudos to you for speaking your mind here even if it negatively affected your relationship.

    • Thank you! My blog has evolved a lot since I started it. At the beginning, I was really ashamed to post a lot of my feelings and actions, even though Loserman didn’t know about it AND I am posting here ‘anonymously’. There were some things I would never have dreamed about publishing. Now, it’s a totally different story. I put it all out here. Like Da Absentee said, this is my diary.
      I wouldn’t edit things out of my diary because I was ashamed…

      But, I will not make the mistake again of telling a potential ‘relationship’ partner about my blog. If I have another one, he will just have to find things out about me organically.

  4. […] he knew that I had a blog, he hadn’t actually read most of the content. He was appalled when he found my Other “Other” Men page. From there everything went downhill […]

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