Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Do You Think This Was Too Mean?

on September 9, 2015

After TC broke up with me, I returned the bras and panties he gave to me, along with this letter:


I probably shouldn’t have said what I did, but I am very upset that he didn’t have the grown-up-man parts to have an actual conversation with me to dump my ass. So, I wanted to be a total fucking bitch (well, not “total” – I really did hold back from “going Chernobyl” on his ass. It could have been much worse. Who knows, maybe it will be when if he sends back my necklace.)

But, at the end I was still a tiny bit nice…

And I meant what I said.




17 responses to “Do You Think This Was Too Mean?

  1. miss agatha armstrong says:

    love you sweet girl – so much x

  2. sassygirl40 says:

    I read the letter and kept waiting for the “mean” part. This letter is not mean at all, you are much too kind to people who treat you badly. You deserve better than him, and better than what Loverman turned out to be as well. You will recover from this, stay strong and hold out for someone who is deserving. .

  3. Megan says:

    It wasn’t mean at all. Next time (if there is one), go Chernobyl! x

  4. I think there was much that was unnecessary. Why return the bras? You could have just given them to a friend or donated them.

    I can understand you are hurt and angry – that is screaming from the pages of that note. But before I say anymore I will ask: What did you want him to think and feel when he received it? Did you feel better after sending it, and sending them gifts back?

    • 1. I wanted to hurt him and I want my necklace back. It is special to me.
      2. Yes, I feel better. It was cathartic.

      • Then I’m sure you achieved your goals.

        • Nope. That horsefly still hasn’t sent it back. And he probably won’t.

          Like the $1,200 Loserman owes me, I will have to let it go.

          • I wasn’t referring to the necklace part.

          • I know, Silly. I wish you would just say what you were originally going to say instead of whatever this is…

          • Lol. Sorry. I’m sincerely trying to not give you advice you didn’t ask for. But since you asked… If your goal was to hurt him then I’m sure you did so. But I also think your note sounded petulant, and perhaps made it less likely for you to get the other thing you wanted (your necklace).

            I think you could have taken the moral high ground and not bothered to send the stuff back. Getting rid of it another way may still have been cathartic. I know you are hurting but that’s why I asked what outcome you wanted. You could have just asked for your necklace back and saved the venting for the blog and your friends.

            I’m writing on a phone so this is nowhere near as nuanced as I want to be. I really don’t want to offend so hope I haven’t. But I would encourage you to think about the outcome you want in these kinds of situations or in conflict, and figure out what behaviour / approach will likely get you there. Sounds like in this case you got what you wanted which is why I kept my mouth uncharacteristically shut 🙂

          • I know you weren’t, Ann. But rather than just tell me what you wanted to say, I honestly thought you were being mean to me 🙂 Thank you for speaking your mind. It felt a lot better and more real ❤

            To be perfectly honest I truly don't believe he ever intended to return it, before or after I sent that note – special to me or not… I’m sure he tossed it in the garbage the moment he walked back into his apartment from dropping me off at the airport. I know I was petulant because I figured it wouldn’t matter anyway.

            I’m taking the moral high ground with Loserman and it’s killing me! I wanted this release. I wanted to be mean – and, even then, I still wasn’t that mean. *sigh*

            Speak when you want, Ann. I’m a big girl. If I don’t like it, I can still handle it (or just not publish your comment. LOL! 😉 ).

          • Mean? Oh hon I’m sorry that wasn’t my intention at all. Thanks for asking; I would have hated to have you think that and not ask.

  5. I dunno…. it seemed pretty nice considering the circumstances.

Talk to me :-)

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