Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

All This Chickening Out is Making Me Gun-Shy

on September 22, 2015


I have a feeling that some of you are going to scold me for what I am about to say, but here goes anyway.

Now that I have my awesome smart phone, I opened a profile on Tinder. Don’t worry though, nothing has really happened yet.

I find it quite amusing.

And equally frustrating.


Guys on Tinder seem to chicken out very easily (at least in Denver).

In the past couple of weeks I have set up three dates with men  (men who are my age, mind you). Two of them found last minute excuses to cancel: one was work-related, one had “something come up” and the third one just plain stood me up (there’s something poking me in the back of my mind telling me it was Loserman, but I know that isn’t true).

At the end of last week, I finally “matched” with someone who actually showed up to meet me for drinks.

We met at a jazz bar downtown last Friday evening after work.

We had a decent conversation. He was my age, just barely my height (I think height should be something you automatically put in your profile), never been married, never had kids, travels for work and has millions on frequent flyer miles, plays piano, lived in England for 8 years…

And he was boring as fuck!

Then, when I started talking about myself, I think he got overwhelmed.

I told him that I like to go to the junkyard (that I find it oddly therapeutic).

I told him how often I roller skate and mentioned the skate trips/parties that I go to and tried to describe the “lifestyle”.

I told him that I don’t like parking on the street downtown, there is too much risk and how I get very attached to my vehicles – we discussed it briefly and he thought it was silly and eccentric.

While I was talking he was a good listener, but seemed to lose interest the more he learned about me.

It’s okay, I understand that I’m not for everyone…

Thankfully, he only paid for two hours of parking, so our “date” had an expiration of 8PM.

He texted me when I got home, “You were right about parking.” After I asked what he meant, he explained that when he came out of the bar, he had been written a $75 ticket for not having a front license plate.

… … …

If that isn’t a sign that we probably weren’t ‘meant to be’, I don’t know what is!

I haven’t heard from him since…

picture from Elle Magazine

picture from Elle Magazine

11 responses to “All This Chickening Out is Making Me Gun-Shy

  1. The guys that bailed… What was the interaction like before that?

  2. miss agatha armstrong says:

    Well I would not stand you up x you go girl … But height…. Oh so so so very important .

  3. lisafab says:

    Sooooo, I’m a Denver native too! =) I hope to get back to the Mile High city soon since that’s where most of my family lives and many friends are there too…Was that jazz club El Chapultepec? My thoughts on height: I think 90% of guys on dating sites lie about their height. Since I want a guy who is at least my height (5’6″) I say I want a guy at least 5’8″ so then, hopefully, he will be my height. Even this doesn’t always work cause I had one guy recently who was shorter than me even though he said he was 5’8″.
    I’ve never used Tinder but if I had 3 guys cancel on the last minute, I’d say goodbye to Tinder…have you tried craigslist? I did when I was living in Denver and I actually found it to be a pretty good way to meet guys…I wrote a post about it actually….
    Just read what you wrote Ann, and if a guy is not going to send me a couple of pics, I’m not going to see him…my suggestion is don’t waste your time on guys like that…
    Just a few thoughts from a gal who spent almost 20 years dating in Denver =)

  4. […] The only time I’ve mentioned it here was to vent about being frustrated that guys are wimpy and flaky and they can’t handle […]

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