Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Ahhh, FetLife

on October 16, 2015

I have ‘met’ a few men through FetLife (here’s a post about one of them), but I’ve only met two in person.

The first man was back at the end of April, right before TC flew out to meet me in May. He was my age. We got together twice, but I didn’t like him so much. Once he told me he was married, that was the end. He wanted to continue things, but I explained to him I no longer wanted to be the “other woman” (that and the fact that I didn’t really like his whiny ass very much).

I met the second a little over a month ago. He could barely be called a man at all. He is 24 and not even remotely my type: blue hair (which looked even worse in person, btw), ear spacers, septum piercing, covered in tattoos… He contacted me and I wanted to try something new intentionally, in hopes that if I chose someone who was completely off my radar, things would go differently.

I was so very wrong.

First off, he never even looked at my age!! While we were eating I mentioned the disparity and he responded, “Oh. That’s nothing.”

I then clarified, “You know I’m 44, right?”

Ummm… No, he did not – at least not until that moment. His eyes almost popped out of his head as he mumbled, “You could be my mom.”

No shit, Sherlock!

What does it take these days to practice a little fucking finesse and forethought?? I mean, I know the boy was only 24 but, for fuck sakes, take a damn breath and make sure you want to say that shit out loud!

I simply said, “Yes, I could be your mother. Does that make you uncomfortable?”

“No. Not really. What about you?”

I told him the truth: that our age difference didn’t bother me until he blurted out that mom comment. Now I was ready to call it a night.Col. Peppers Lonely Mango

He tried to apologize. It was sad to watch. I was utterly annoyed.

It was a buffet, so he got up to get another plate and I flagged down our waitress to order a very strong vodka cocktail.

She was returning with my drink just as he was returning with his plate.

We talked very little after that (he joked about getting me drunk). Then, to add insult to injury, the horsefly ended the night by asking me to pay!!

Apparently he had just moved to Denver and used all his money to get here (car broke down on the way, sob story, blah, blah). He’s living at a friend’s house until he can find a ‘good’ job and save some money to get his own place….

So I paid the bill for dinner.

He walked me out to my car, invited me back to “his place” and offered to “pay” for his dinner in a different way…


(Please note that he was driving a very shiny 2010 Toyota 4Runner. Ummm…??? I drive a rusty, old Plymouth Breeze with 200,000+ miles and *I* am the one paying for dinner…???)

I sure can pick ’em…

P.S. I did NOT go back to his place!!

7 responses to “Ahhh, FetLife

  1. Da Absentee says:

    Sad to hear this! But glad to hear this!
    Stay strong! Stay fun!

  2. Janelle says:

    OMG – unbelievable! What would have happened if you refused to pay his tab?

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