I tried it…
The first few times it wasn’t so bad. It was fun, really…
Then there was last week.
Whipped with a switch that I cut for myself…
Very pretty, right?
And it doesn’t look so bad…
That was after last Wednesday night…
When he told me that he wanted to see me again the next night, I asked him to be gentle…
It didn’t feel more gentle.
In fact, it felt rougher.
I was punished for not keeping my hands behind my back.
But I had not been told to put them there.
In fact, he had been admiring his markings from the night before, so I had my hands folded submissively in front of me.
In one singular moment, I went from feeling lovely and owned and his, to feeling confused and lost and scared.
I was sent to the corner and whipped again.
With ‘my’ switch.
This time with humiliating words coming from Daddy, seething with frustration that I could not behave as I’d been told.
But I hadn’t been told… And I couldn’t backtalk… I was unable to explain and had to bear my punishment.
Breathe… In… Out…
When he was done whipping me, he fucked my throat longer than I thought was possible.
Longer than was possible, I suppose.
Because I could no longer kneel in front of Daddy.
I felt ashamed, but I was falling over before him.
The pain in my ankles and knees had become unbearable and I could no longer prostrate myself for him.
Unable to use my hands to hold myself, I fell on my side, spittle and pre-cum all over my face.
He was so angry.
“Please, Daddy! I can’t kneel any more. It hurts and I can’t!”
Furiously, he yanked me up to standing, tossed me across the room and threw me onto the bed, face first.
“Stay there, whore! You will learn to keep your hands behind your back and do as your told!”
I laid as I had landed, sobbing of course.
And I was so confused.
I want to be obedient. I want to make Daddy happy. And proud. I thought I had been, standing there, letting him admire what he had done…
I hadn’t known he wanted something different…
Is that an excuse? Am I defending myself when I shouldn’t be?
I laid there for quite a while. Crying and thinking very hard about everything that was happening to me…
Everything that had happened the night before…
“I’m scared and I want to go home, Daddy.”
Laying there, I heard him get up from his seat behind me and approach.
I took a deep breath, buried my face in the comforter and braced for my punishment.
He stood behind me, caressed my ass for a moment and said, “Get up and turn around and look at me.”
I did as I was told.
He took my face in his hands and said, “Daddy will take good care of you. You are here for my pleasure, but you have to trust that I won’t take it too far.”
I wanted to argue. I wanted to tell him that he had taken it too far.
After he had promised not to.
And, because of that, I didn’t trust him.
More importantly, I didn’t feel that I could defend myself.
I was so helpless.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight into his body, resting my cheek to his heart.
We stood there for some moments before he laid me down in the bed and made love to me…
Softly, sweetly, slowly… But I couldn’t cum… I couldn’t feel good…
There were too many thoughts racing in my head about what had happened; how it had made me feel…
Especially after what I had realized and shared with him just one night before…
I laid there beneath him and let him ‘make love’ to me.
At least I had learned my lesson about being quiet…
When he was finished, he rolled over and pulled me over onto his chest so we could settle in and fall asleep.
I settled in, but I could not fall asleep for a very long time.