Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

The Last Couple of Weeks “with” Mr. R

on December 16, 2015
(I think I may have waited a bit too long to write about this…)

The Wednesday evening before Thanksgiving, Mr. R took me out to dinner again. (Here’s our first date)

It wasn’t anything fancy. Just a burger and fries at Village Inn.

I was able to stay out late because I didn’t have to be home until 1:30am – Thursday was a work holiday for me, so I told Thing #1 I would drive her to work (and it was bloody cold!).

He had me home by my “curfew” and kissed me briefly before dropping me off.

Thanksgiving was nice (but that’s a different story with a different person and a different nice).

The next day (Friday afternoon), Mr. R asked if I would like to have dinner with him that evening.

Hmmm… I really enjoyed my Thanksgiving with Alaska…

But getting to know Mr. R is kinda challenging interesting.

We had a nice dinner. This time I picked the restaurant… He had a giant rib eye and I had fish tacos.

We talked about basic things: work and daily activities… He won’t talk to me about any of his family or any of his past, which means there isn’t much to talk about after catching up on current events. He told me about ice fishing and his new fish finder and how awesome it was; a couple funny stories about his friends and past adventures with them or by himself…

It was still pretty uncomfortable. But, again I wrote it off to “newness” and the fact we were still getting to know each other.

When I got home afterwards, I sent him a message thanking him for the lovely meal and conversation.

His reply: Good night, Smitten. Stay warm and sleep well 🙂 I’m not so sure you enjoyed the conversation 🙂


I really, really hate it when someone tells me how I feel. In fact, Mr. R made a similar comment the following night while we were skating and I had the chance to ask him to please let me have my own thoughts and feelings…

Loserman liked to tell me how I ‘really’ felt. We had multiple ‘discussions’ about it. At the end, Loserman was doing almost all of my feeling and thinking for me. Every time I would tell him what I wanted or how I felt, he contradictedcorrected’ me.

We skated with the group again that Sunday afternoon.

After that, his work scheduled changed and I didn’t see him again until the following Sunday! Then there was another week’s break before we saw each other again.

During our time “apart” we texted once a day or so. Basic things… He was checking to see if I had heard back from any the jobs that I have been applying for, I was generally inquiring about his well-being

And now we’re up to last weekend.

We skated together both Saturday and Sunday nights.

It was awkward and uncomfortable Saturday, but it wasn’t just me that felt it. One of our friends approached me at one point and asked if something was wrong with Mr. R.

We talked for a while about it.

I told her that Mr. R had said something really strange a few weeks back that he was feeling bad and he would probably be feeling that way for a long time.

She said, “Maybe he’s at a milestone or something: his ex-wife’s birthday, their anniversary, the date of their divorce… You said that he doesn’t want to talk about any of that past relationship stuff with you. Maybe that’s what’s going on with him right now.”

I nodded and said, “That makes total sense. It also helps explain why some times it feels like he wants to get close to me and, other times, he’s trying to keep me at arm’s length.”


Something is broken with Mr. R.

And he won’t tell me anything about his past.

2 responses to “The Last Couple of Weeks “with” Mr. R

  1. Megan says:

    I don’t know, Smitten, but he sounds like a lot of hard work… And if he’s got dark corners he’s not willing to share….is it worth pursuing??

    • smitten says:

      Nope. He is in the “friend zone” utterly and completely. Maybe one day he will be able to deal with the things that bother him. Maybe I could be a catalyst for that. He is the one who has been pursuing anyway, and he gives such mixed signals… I think I will just be his friend and do things with him and let him buy me things. I’m not in for complicated and confusing right now.

Talk to me :-)

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