Glutton for Punishment

Glutton for Punishment


I neglected to mention in my previous post, on my way out of Alaska’s house New Year’s Eve?

Yeah. I caused quite a ruckus.

He rents an apartment in his brother’s basement. I spent Thanksgiving there and used one of the platters that my daughters made me (back in 2008) to plate the food I brought. I left it there and kept forgetting to pick it up.

First, we tore apart the kitchen looking for my platter. It wasn’t there, so he told me that he would talk to his brother’s girlfriend and find out where it was – I could come back a different day and get it.

Then, once I got outside and started walking to my car, I realized that I had left my phone charging on his TV stand. I knocked, got the dogs all riled up, but he didn’t come to the door. Probably because he was back down in his apartment and didn’t realize I was trying to get back in.

For a minute I totally panicked. I was SO mad at myself! But, once I took a breath, I realized I could go around the side of the house and knock on his basement window until he came back up. In the process, I fell over the child gate blocking the deck from the dogs.

I’m actually surprised none of their neighbors called the police. It probably seemed louder to me than it actually was…

He came back up and let me back in to get my phone.

I left.

About 10 blocks away from his house, I got a text from him telling me I had left my make-up bag in the bathroom and I could come and get it when I picked up my platter.

I responded that I needed that bag, it has my tooth stuff and other things I need for every day, could he just leave it out on the front stoop. Then, I turned around and went back to his place to get my make-up bag, picked it up and drove home.

New Years Day, in the evening, I sent him a text asking if I could come and get my platter Monday night after work.

“Yes, of course.”

Saturday morning he texted me a YouTube video on Total Life Changes. I replied, “Thank you.” And that was the end of it until Monday when I asked if 7PM would be okay.

“Yes. That would be fine.”

At 6:30PM Monday night, I got a call from Alaska. Apparently, he still didn’t know where my platter was and his brother’s girlfriend, Sarah (the only person on this godforsaken planet who knew it’s secret location) wasn’t going to get home until 8:30. *sigh* I was almost to his place. It’s not very close to my house… He said we could watch TV and talk or whatever… Honestly?

But, that’s what I did. I went to his house and waited with him until Sarah got home.

The man has no empathy. No sense of other peoples’ reality. His social skills are extremely lacking. About 5 minutes after I got there, he got completely nude in front of me so he could take a shower.

After his shower he put some clothes on then sat on the love-seat next to where I was sitting on the floor. I had my jacket on and my legs crossed. I was obviously uncomfortable and cold.

The little conversation we had was uncomfortable. I couldn’t look him in the eye. I played a video game on my phone and texted with a friend. He watched Nancy Grace and whatever else on MSNBC. At one point I asked, “So… Has your brother’s girlfriend been away for a while?”

“No. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I sent you a text three days ago telling you that I was coming to pick up my platter. I thought that would give you plenty of time to find it.”

He smirked and laughed a little, “We talked about it a couple times. She told me where it was but I can’t find it in the garage. I figured we could just wait until she gets home tonight and then she can get it. I’ll check again.”

He went upstairs and I heard the garage door open while he checked again. It was quite a while before he returned with a couple of my plastic containers, but he still couldn’t find my platter. “Don’t worry,” he said. “She’ll be home in a couple minutes and we’ll get it then.”

It was 8:35 when I asked, “The dogs go crazy every time Sarah comes home right?”

“Yeah,” he said and laughed. “They totally do.” (It’s true! It’s really funny how crazy the dogs act when Sarah gets home!)

“And does she always get home by 8:30?”

“Yeah. That’s the latest she ever gets home.”

“Well. It’s 8:35 now and she still isn’t home.”

“She’ll be home soon,” Alaska said.

I rolled my eyes and let out a huge sigh. “I hope so because this is so uncomfortable!”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” I said. “Why should I be comfortable here with you? I can’t tell how you feel about me. You’re completely aloof like you can’t tell I’m hurting. You know, I care about you and it’s not easy to sit here on your floor and pretend I’m okay.”

The discussion that followed was very similar to the two we had on New Years Eve about how he should have spent ANY TIME AT ALL with me at his sister’s party. “I don’t understand you!” he continued to say, louder each time as if volume would help.

Eventually I said, “I am not you. I don’t expect you to understand me, but if you care about me, you would TRY. I am telling you that I need for you to tell me that you like me. I am telling you that I need you to stay with me in certain situations. I need you to kiss me and hold my hand and want you to walk near me when we’re together. I want you to cherish me the way I cherish your dick when I suck it! If you can’t do those things for me, we can’t work.”

“You should know how I feel about you. Would I have told you to wear those underwear if I didn’t like the way you looked in them?”

“I need you to reassure me with your words. If you want to be my Daddy, you have to be able to help me with what I need, too.”

We talked some more. I tried to explain, he listened and tried to understand. A little…

Sarah called from upstairs (hooray!). I got up to leave and Alaska stood up from his place on the couch and took me in his arms. He nestled my head under his chin and said, “I don’t have any bad feelings for you, Smitten. You’ve given me a lot of yourself in the time we’ve been together and I will forever cherish the parts of you no one had before me.”

“I didn’t want it to end like this,” I said as tears flowed freely.

“I didn’t want it to either, Sweetheart.”

After getting my platter from Sarah, she walked me out to my car so we could talk in private.

I apologized for my antics on New Years Eve and hoped that I hadn’t woken anyone. She reassured me that they didn’t hear a thing until the next day when Alaska told them what had happened and why I had left.

She gave me a big hug and said, “Not that it makes things any better, but both his brother and I agree with you, Smitten. When he told us what happened, we told him he was an idiot to let you leave.”

I hugged her back and told her I would miss her. She’s a good woman.

“I have a feeling we’ll be seeing you again sooner than later,” Sarah said to me as I got into my car.



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