Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

…Then It’s Probably a Form Letter

on February 2, 2016


Well, so much for all that…

It turns out that the guy who contacted me through FetLife last week was a total horsefly (just like the other FetLife wanna-be’s: Rock Star and the other creep)

… so much of a horsefly that I completely deleted my FetLife account.


I was going to name the horsefly “MM” for Military Man. Now you will only need to know that for the rest of this post (most of which will be copied and pasted from my Verizon messenger feed).

Thursday we texted sporadically throughout the day: getting to know each other, sexy texts, etc… We made plans to meet up on Saturday afternoon but not anything specific.

Friday we texted our “Good mornings” and later in the afternoon I thought of something…

I am blue, MM is red.



2.5 hours later, I get the following text:

What the hell?!?!? It was uncanny because that was exactly what was happening! Did MM google my phone number, get my work information and then follow me?? Was he sitting in a car somewhere close watching me smoke blunts in my date’s front seat while we sat and talked??

I totally panicked! My heart started trying to explode out of my chest and I cautiously looked around the parking lot to see if there was anyone sitting alone in a car. It was a quick glance, but I didn’t see anything. Then I responded to MM (I was creeped out! I didn’t know what to do/say – partly because I had lied and partly because his timing was plain-old bizarre):


I made up a lame excuse to my date about that text being from my daughters and they’d gotten into a fight (*sigh* yes, I lied… I feel like shit for that BTW, but I was freaking out at the time!). I was visibly upset so he accepted my lie and drove me back to my car.

My date was over 😦 and it was a good date, too!! (I’ll tell you about it later, I promise!)

He gave me a big hug and made sure that I got into my car safely and that it started up okay before he drove away.

After my date had left, and my car was warming up, I sent the following text to MM:


(Yes, I realize that I really was lying to him, but I wanted to know how he knew and, also, WHAT THE FUCK was going on!!!)



I drove a few minutes before the tears overtook me and my body started shaking.

All I kept thinking was, It’s still before 10. Alaska is probably home. I could call him and see if I can go over to his house. Or just talk to him until I feel better…

So, I called him. While the phone rang on his end, I kept wishing to myself, Please don’t answer. Please don’t answer.

Luckily, he didn’t answer.

In fact, Alaska never called or texted at all to see why I tried calling him Friday night.

However, Sunday I received these last two messages from MM:


In fact, MM was indeed “perfectly clear”. I never responded to his text, nor do I plan to.

However, rest assured that if I receive any more correspondence from him, you all will be the first to know!

19 responses to “…Then It’s Probably a Form Letter

  1. Megan says:

    Whoahhh….with his military background, him finding out you were on a date rather than out with the girls is just too freaky and uncomfortable. As for his attitude….well done for not responding! x

  2. Okay so I’m going to assume he didn’t do anything creepy to find out you’re on a date…. Because it doesn’t really matter. Why did you need to say you were out “with the girls”? Why not just say you were out? There was no need to lie, and then compound the lies when he found out. You could have just said “yes you’re right but wasn’t sure how to tell you”.
    Of course if he did something creepy you shouldn’t see him again, but my advice to you would be to be honest instead of lie. You don’t have to volunteer the full truth at the beginning but I’ve tried to not let someone assume something that isn’t true, and definitely respond honestly if asked a question directly.

    • smitten says:

      You’re right. I panicked and have no excuse for anything I did.

      • But you mentioned “the girls”… Suggest maybe next time you don’t need to add that info when it’s not true?
        And hey, all we can do is learn from our experiences.

      • Cheeky says:

        Smitten, I’ve been following you for over a year. You are so frickin adorable. I’m with Ann St. Vincent about this one. If this awkwardness happens again, you could totally play it off when you come clean and joke about how you got panicked. That said, I liked him! Up until he did the block/p.s/unblocked/p.s. thing. lol. On a side note, a couple of months ago, I was at a grocery store and kept running into this super cute older military guy. We never even said “hi” but the next day, he friend requests me! (and then his ass (and cock) got blocked) What the? So yeah. . . I actually do think MM did something suspect to find out where you were. Ugh. Wading through the crap to get something good sucks. But I’m always sending out good energy to you!! He’ll find you. 🙂

        • smitten says:

          Aww… You’re so sweet. Thank you!

          Whew! Your guy was super creepy! How sad… I appreciate you saying all that. It really scared the crap out of me!!

  3. johnnyid says:

    Jesus, all these crazy men make me glad I’m not a woman. I don’t know how you all deal with it.

    Okay, assuming that he didn’t do anything creepy (which is possible but generally unlikely), he was probably testing you and ‘got lucky’ with his accusation. He’s obviously paranoid, manipulative and controlling. This was his way of putting you off balance, seeing how you’d react, withholding contact from you to create negative emotions so that when he comes back a couple hours later you’re relieved and more susceptible (saying he’s going to block you, then writing again). It backfired though because his first guess was so accurate.

    Do not talk to this dude again. Seriously.

    • smitten says:

      Nope. I really have no desire to talk to this guy again. He scares me.

      I might just enjoy the man who took me out on a date Friday night. He is very comfortable and very nice – I don’t generally pick the ‘nice’ guys, so I’ll see where that bus goes…

  4. Confessions of Your Husband's Mistress says:

    You’re right not to respond. The guy was obviously trying to control the situation and exert power. He was most likely just guessing you were on a date because he was feeling insecure. Try not to read too much into his reaction. Just walk away from that crazy 😀

  5. johnnyid says:

    One more thought after looking through the texts again, pretty sure he’s got a drug and/or alcohol problem. Mood swings, sudden paranoia, he was just going to “relax” (used the term twice) and was pissed when interrupted, different tune later on. Yeah, there’s something else going on there.

Talk to me :-)

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