I have no real desire to write anything… As if you couldn’t already tell that by my lack of writing… I have a whole Sk8cation to tell you about! I had a roommate. We didn’t get along so well…
Also, I haven’t been keeping up with other bloggers like I usually do. (I’m sorry, Friends! ❤ )
Most of my energy has been going into negotiations with The Universe re: Alaska.
“If Mr. Nice Guy cancels our date for this Friday night, I’m going to call Alaska.”
So then yesterday, Mr. Nice Guy rescheduled our Friday night date for Saturday afternoon. I don’t have any problems with it whatsoever, but what the fuck is THAT supposed to mean?!?!?!
Then I tell The Universe:
“Well… Since you were so entirely vague on that one, let me add this caveat – if Alaska texts me again before I go to sleep Friday, I am going to ask him if I can spend Sunday night at his place.”
Notice that I haven’t actually asked him if I could come over and see him.
I just think about it constantly.
Then remind myself how much he has actually hurt my feelings and how he’s done it more than once…
Do I want to go through the same thing with Alaska as I did with Loserman? Wondering if he’s going to cancel our plans at the last minute or if he even really likes me at all…
But, I don’t really wonder if Alaska likes me. He does. He still checks up on me every few-to-several days.
I “dumped” him on New Years Eve. That was over 6 weeks ago!
It’s gotten to the point now where, every time it seems like I’m okay and I stop thinking about him all the time, he reaches out to me.
On Valentines Day he didn’t even cross my mind.
Then I received a text from him. *sigh*
Is it too late for me to establish ground rules with myself for my perception of this “relationship” with Alaska?
I mean, why does it even have to be a “relationship”?
Here I am negotiating… *smh*
It seems to me that I shouldn’t even be going through a grieving process over Alaska. We only fucked for a few months.
Why is his absence driving me so batshit crazy!?!