It’s Too Complicated

It’s Too Complicated

Complicated
Perfectly said…

A lot happened over my weekend.

All of it was emotional.

None of it was earth-shattering –  even though it may have seemed so at the time (and possibly a little bit still on Monday).

Thursday and Sunday were emotionally taxing on the Mick front: Thursday he had an “episode” (flashback) and, after waiting two days to discuss it in person, Sunday we met up to talk about it and us. (Mick and I have an agreement that feelings should always be discussed in person, unless it just isn’t practical.)

But those are different posts for different days.

This post is about last Friday night with Alaska.

Apparently, I’d been spending a little too much time with him and The Universe wanted to smack me up side the head.

It started at 5PM with a text and then a phone call from Alaska.

Dear, I have a family emergency… I’m on my way to the hospital…
I’ll give you a ring after a while to see if you can still make it over after I am done.

He basically said the same thing when we spoke on the phone. I told him that I hoped everything worked out and that his “family member” would be alright.

After we hung up, I figured that I wouldn’t be hearing from him again that evening. The simple fact being: **I** made up that ‘in the hospital’ lie to avoid going to the office Christmas party and spend the night with him – and he knew it! Also, it isn’t out of the realm of possibility he was blowing me off again – he did tell me that he was going out shopping with his mother before I was ‘supposed to’ come over.

Boss Man had asked me earlier if I was going to the jazz bar to have a glass of wine. It sounded like a great idea. So, instead of going to Alaska’s, I went to the jazz bar and enjoyed myself for about an hour.

Rachel and the Ruckus
Rachel and the Ruckus

I was surprised when I saw Alaska’s incoming call and, when I answered, he was equally surprised to hear the live music playing in the background.

He explained that it was his Auntie’s boyfriend who had gone to the hospital with chest pains and that everyone just over-reacted.

(Yeah. Right. *I* think that shopping with his mother went longer than expected and he stayed to have dinner with her and AmandaAmanda is most likely the reason he felt he needed to lie (if he did indeed lie… You’ll see the story play out below and can make your own assumption/s conclusion/s.))

Then he asked if I could still come over…

I agreed, but also ‘confessed’ straight away that I did not cut a switch for him to mark me (as he had directed me to) because I figured he was blowing me off again – so, why bother looking for one…

Mind you, he had no response for that.

I finished up my glass of wine and went over to his place as originally planned, still a little on edge.

It didn’t take long in his company to get comfortable again. I like talking to him.

The whole family was upstairs having their weekly poker game. Every 40 minutes or so one of his nephews would come down and change over his laundry or start a new load.

Once things seemed to be quieting down upstairs, Alaska instructed me to take off my clothes down to my underwear and put on the stockings I’d brought.

I did as I was told and also grabbed his electric blanket (“Good girl”) to bring over to the couch and keep us warm while we sat and talked.

I sucked his dick, he played with my pussy… He stroked his dick and I played with my pussy… And, after we each had our own happy endings from our mutual masturbation session, we began an existential discussion about heaven and hell and the book I had just finished reading, “The Great Divorce” by CS Lewis.

His phone rang once and then he got a couple of text messages. We were enjoying the conversation and each others’ company, so he ignored his phone while we continued to talk. I noticed that and appreciated it immensely because that’s something he hasn’t done for me before. (As it turns out, he should have answered that call and/or read those texts. The call was Amanda and the texts were his brother trying to warn us!)

It was after his phone had gone off, but still during our discussion when a strange woman let herself into Alaska’s basement, walked across his living room (RIGHT IN FRONT OF US WHILE I SAT NAKED ON HIS COUCH ONLY PARLY BLANKETED WITH MY LEGS ALL INTERTWINED WITH HIS), took her jacket off and set it down on the floor with her purse RIGHT NEXT TO ME!

Then she looked me straight in the eye, held out her hand and said, “I don’t believe we’ve met. My name is Amanda.” (her name has not been changed to protect her identity – not that it matters anyway… I didn’t think she was worth the time and energy I would put in to giving her a ‘new’ name.)

I shook my head in disbelief, then shook her hand, but I couldn’t shake the look of horror from my face. Can you believe that this woman was so fucking clueless (or blind)?! I sure fucking can’t! If I had walked into that room and saw what she saw, I would have turned right around and gone back upstairs while mumbling a humble apology. (Unless of course, my boyfriend and I had just broken up and I wanted to get back together with an ex… Hmmm…)

She opened her mouth again. This time directing it at Alaska, “I thought you were playing poker tonight.”

He acted like it was no big thing for her to be doing this (maybe he was as stunned as I was, but you would never know) and matter-of-factly replied, “No. That’s my mom and brother’s thing. We’re down here hanging out.”

Ummm… What?!?!? Hanging out?!?! Is that what this is?! You want(ed?) to be my fucking DADDY!

The two of them exchanged some more sentences. I was in total shock and trying very hard not to physically explode into a million tiny pieces – both because I was sitting there in my bra and panties AND this incident didn’t seem to phase him at all. (also, I was offended at his lack of effort to cover me up – I told him that later.)

I don’t know, it was probably only 5 minutes before she grabbed her things and left but, at no point, did either of them seem to be uncomfortable with the situation!

Once she had gone, I went straight to my clothes and put them all back on.

“What? So now you’re going to leave?” He asks.

“Of course not, but I’m not going to hang out naked down here so you can parade any more of your ex-girlfriends in front of me.”

“She’s an old family friend. My mom has known her forever. We saw her while we were shopping today and Mom mentioned the poker game. I guess Amanda took it as an invitation.”

(Yeah! Fucking right… Probably because there was a fucking invitation extended to her!

What I thought at that exact moment was:

that mother fucker cancelled on me for this fugly bitch, then when she cancelled on him, he called me back and told me to come over!)

“An old family friend, huh?” I said. Then I looked him directly in the eye and asked, “Are you her Daddy, too.”

“If you’re asking if I’ve had sex with her, the answer is ‘Yes’.”

“What I am asking is: ARE YOU *HER* DADDY, TOO?!

“I am not currently having sex with Amanda, no.” Then he stood there and though for a minute. “In fact, I can tell you that it has been exactly 1 year and 1 month since I’ve slept with her. She’s probably lonely because she and her boyfriend just broke up.” (Ahhh, NOW I get it!)

My body was trembling next to him on the couch while my mind cycled through all the emotions and possibilities and whether he was lying or not…

Things got heated for a minute while we were talking and I had to take my pipe, weed and self into his bathroom to calm down.

While I was in there, my imagination ran wild. All I could think was this was a HUGE setup – either by Alaska, or it was some funny, cruel-ass joke his family decided to play on him/us. (I mentioned that to him later and he became very upset that I would suggest such a thing. His family would never do that! Whatever…)

There was no way I could smoke enough weed to take off the edge. So, I decided to just go out and talk to Alaska about it. What was the worst that could happen? I’d end up leaving again?

As soon as I stepped out of his bathroom, something crazy started going on above us and Alaska dismissed himself to see what was happening.

When he got upstairs all hell broke loose. I didn’t hear much of what they were saying because I turned up the volume on the TV and started playing on my phone, but there was a lot of yelling. Some of it sounded like they were arguing about what had just happened, but I tried not to hear.

I also tried to figure out a way to escape and not be seen, but that wouldn’t be happening. There was no way out but up the stairs and through the middle of everything and everyone.

It was at least 30 minutes before Alaska came back downstairs. He explained that his mother and brother were the same exact people and sometimes they both get so fired up they can’t calm down.

The first thing out of my mouth was, “Does it surprise you that I freaked out when Amanda just showed up here unannounced and acted like I wasn’t sitting here naked in front of her? You kind of acted like you expected her. I sure hope that this wasn’t supposed to be some kind of threesome you worked out or like that because that fugly woman is NOT my type!”

Then I asked him if he had actually cancelled our date earlier to be with her instead and then she cancelled…

He denied that and stated that he invited ME to his house because he wanted to spend time with ME. After that, he explained that he saw her with his mother shopping that afternoon…

Also, no, this wasn’t some kind of weird threesome setup – he would talk to me about that first (thank goodness!).

We talked about it for quite a while. It was at least two hours before I was comfortable enough again to disrobe and this time I would only do it in his bedroom behind the curtain.

He made love to me carefully and quietly three times throughout the night.

There was no marking me with a switch as he had planned, no spanking or smacking me with the heart-shaped riding crop I gave him for his birthday…

And Saturday morning, when my alarm rang, I got dressed faster than I ever have – not even an early morning quickie (and you know how much I like those!) – kissed his sweet face and hot-tailed it out of there so I could start thinking about what had actually happened that night.

Almost a week later (with basically no contact from Alaska except for a “Happy Easter, sweetheart.”), I still don’t have it figured out.

All I can say is:

Nicely played, Universe. Nicely played…

UncertaintyOfLove

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13 thoughts on “It’s Too Complicated

  1. All I can say is, when you reward someone, or maintain a relationship with them, and they don’t make you a priority then you shouldn’t be surprised when that behavior continues. Sounds to me like this was a pissing contest and rather than side with you he stayed squarely in the middle and allowed you to be the one put off. Why would he change his behavior when he still gets what he wants?

    1. Right again, as usual. Didn’t look at it as a pissing contest, but you’re right… I concede.

      Meeting, in person, someone in whom he has previously had his dick, really really put me off. She was gross and ugly and it made me think he has very low standards… And I ran out the following morning to avoid humiliation or any further interaction with his family.

      1. She was staking her territory and he let her. That’s worrying. But then you stuck around and spent the night with him, so he’s either unaware of his behavior or doesn’t care.

        1. I thought about getting up and getting dressed and excusing myself while she stood there and talked to him but I let my modesty and humiliation be in charge instead.

          1. That would have just conceded the space to her. She’d have “won”. What would have been better was stay until she left… then left yourself after telling him off. Don’t concede the space but don’t put up with, or reward, his behavior either.

  2. Uh. No. I would’ve wrapped the blanket around me, gathered my clothes, and go to the bathroom to change while saying calmly, “I’m done.” Come out humming “She racheeeet!” And walk your ass out the door. She can have him.
    But I also know what it’s like to be so stunned off your ass that all you can do is sit there and try to process a situation so unbelievable.
    You did fine, smitten. Life is a dumb process and we’re all still learning. . . ❤️

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