Below are my email correspondences with Mick the day after our choking incident/mishap/”episode”…
Hope you’re having a good day! I saw this picture and it made me laugh. I love a good bed to jump into and have it fluff all around me. Work is creeping along here like a turtle. I sincerely wish I could be jumping into that fluffy bed next to you.
Last night was amazing and special and very memorable. Thank you so much for sharing little bits of your soul with me. Yes, you’ve told me that you won’t be able to talk with me about some of those things ever – just the fact that you stayed mentally with me last night and didn’t withdraw into yourself was very special and meant a lot to me. And I was only scared for a millisecond. When I saw your face, I realized where I was, that I was safe and heard the same song still playing (though I can’t remember what it is now 😉 )
Enough of that sappiness… You are great and wonderful and I feel ever so special when I’m with you – like I’ve never known! Thank you for a lovely night and morning!
My sweet awesome kitten,
I have always had a good and memorable time whenever I am with you. You are so awesome in my book.
That would be so sweet to be able to spend more time with you after a night of “fun”.
I wish you hadn’t seen my “episode”. I don’t like for it to happen, let alone someone see it. I will talk to you about what happened, but I can’t tell you the specific flashback. It is still with me today as I write this. Last night was not the time for discussion. We shared some moments last night that were so amazing and so scary to me. I know that with you we will be able to talk about it. Which would be great if we can get together again Sunday.
I really like to treat you like you’ve never known.
Your tired lover and Sir
I will talk with you about anything, my Dear Sir. You make it easy and there aren’t any long-lasting negative consequences with you when I tell you the truth or how I really feel. It’s wonderful that you feel you can be vulnerable with me as well. In what we are doing, there will probably be more “episodes” for both of us. Some will be good and others will be painful, but each can still help us learn something.
That picture with the stars turned out better than I expected. You can still see three! And I think the shock was more intense than it would normally be because you tazed me in an area that was already super-sensitized. I would love to try that more… And the ass-play… That’s just something I need to get used to. The vibrator felt so good! I was thinking about what it would feel like to have you inside of me at the same time – like you’ve mentioned in the past. My ass is yours, you have all of me to do with as you please (for the most part). Also, you’ll have to tell me how the bearings felt for you when they were inside me along with you. That’s something I’d like to try again, and one of these days we’ll actually have to get my wheel out again… Especially with the bug zapper! I’ve been thinking about it ever since you sent me that picture.
I wish I knew how to help you climax, my sweet lover! Please help me to learn what it is I can do so you can achieve that release, too. I feel guilty that I can have multiple orgasms, but then just leave you hanging at the end. Literally and figuratively.
Don’t feel guilty my dear. I have never been good for more than two, sometimes three orgasms in an evening. The part about being out of shape and age all come into play. Believe me I am quite satisfied. I want to give you more. I believe I said something about what I need before, exercise.
Last night was a very interesting evening. There was so much “stuff” that happened before we started to play that it was kind of overwhelming. There were some things you said that keep popping in my head. They are much better discussed in person. I had no intent on being vulnerable like that. What happened triggered a memory. I try not to label them good or bad, but last nights sort of spooked me.
I wish to bring you many more shocking experiences as well as other new things. I’m glad you liked the bearings. It was definitely different for me. I wondered this morning how they would feel with you on top. I’ll bet that would be very different. I was happy to hear that you liked the vibrating butt plug. The rest we can work on. I think it is awesome that you want to do these things with me.
Believe it or not, letting your guard down and having those “moments” with me helps me to trust you more. It also endears you to me more. Even though I know it to be true in reality, it’s reassuring that you can actually be vulnerable with me, too. Especially since I’m putting so much trust and vulnerability in your hands already.
Sunday should work for me fine. I’m not skating until 8 that night.
More kisses to my kinky man,
Your dearest kitten
Being vulnerable is hard for me to do. With the people and situations I am used to, vulnerability was not something you wanted to show. I do understand that you need to have great trust in me. I wish that to be fulfilled by doing what I say. Being vulnerable is emotional. That is not one of my greatest joys. Sometimes it is not very deep now, like it used to be. My armor seems to be getting thin.
We should not lack for something to talk about Sunday.
You’re right about Sunday! Thin armor, huh… That’s something to think about. I can only pretend to have thick armor. In real life, I want someone to break me down and show me how vulnerable I really am. Then show me that it’s okay to be that exposed and nurture me back into reality. Just like you do. Again I am torn because of my feelings for you. Last night only makes me like and appreciate you more…
I’m going out after work tonight and it will probably be pretty late this time. Read: It’s Too Complicated
Sunday should be good. I’ll give you a time later. Not late, but you wore me out. Time for that “nap”.
Good night my sweet kitten.