Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Idealized Realized

on May 4, 2016


It’s been almost a year now and I still hate you for leaving me.

But I also hate you for even finding me to begin with, and for staying with me for as long as you did.

What the fuck? I ask myself. Why did you have to be the one to help me find myself?

But that was probably all you were meant to be in my life:

A catalyst.

Maybe the changes you prompted in me helped me realize that you were bad for me.

That and the constant silent treatment.

It took a lot of repetition on your part, but eventually I realized you treated me like crap more often than you didn’t.

And now I know that I don’t want you back.

Now I can see that what I truly wanted was what I thought you were…

Idealized Loverman.

I think you were always destined to end up being my Loserman.

2 responses to “Idealized Realized

  1. perkmeupnwa says:

    The view in the rear view mirror is always 20/20. Sounds like you have accepted it as a growth opportunity 😊

Talk to me :-)

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