Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

What Do I Bring to the Table?

on May 26, 2016


I have been struggling to figure out what strengths I bring to a relationship. I know what *I* want and need, but what do I have to offer?

Everything I put on that list just seems plain fucking ‘cheesy’ to me:

  • I am a good cook/I can bake yummy things
  • I can take care of myself/be independent
  • I’m curious/adventurous
  • I take fairly good care of myself and am healthy
  • I’m a good teacher and good student (if it’s something I want to teach/learn)
  • I’m intelligent/articulate and want to communicate with my partner
  • I have a good sense of humor
  • I am (relatively) stable
  • I fancy myself to be good in the sack 😉

Are those actual things, or do I have the wrong idea?

6 responses to “What Do I Bring to the Table?

  1. I believe if you bring affection, honesty, respect and love to a relationship, you’re bringing the very best gifts of all. You are a warm and caring woman, and that’s your gift to the world and to him as well. I hope this helps. Hugs, sweetheart!♥♥

  2. What you bring to a relationship is YOU. Yes, there are the things you do (the baking of tasty treats, the sexing up in ways he’d never dreamed) but your willingness to DO those things – and the circumstances under which you’re willing to do them or not – are part of the subtle blend that is you. Add in the sense of humor, your choice of conversation topics and general personality/level of outgoingness and your outlook on life, and there’s a total package there that will be really appealing to some and really appalling to others.

    I phrase it this way because the strengths you bring to any relationship will depend – quite naturally, and without your thinking about it at all – on the other person/people in the relationship. Your strengths ill emerge where they are weak and vice versa, but it’s different when you’re with different people, in my experience. That’s why that getting-to-know-you period is so critical, and why so many relationships don’t survive the first bumpy months: you’re learning to suit each other, and it’s either a comfortable adjustment or a painful stretch.

    • smitten says:

      I really love how you said this and, after thinking about it for a couple days, I’m still speechless. Thank you for saying this! ❤

  3. johnnyid says:

    I have a return question for you: where did that question come from? Did that question just occur to you or did something spark it?

    • smitten says:

      Something sparked it. I was watching the video I included and he suggested, at the end, if we didn’t know where to start we should look inside ourselves first and realize what *we* have to offer. That can help us see our worth and raise our standards when looking for a partner.

      It upset me because I had such a hard time thinking of anything that didn’t just sound plain dumb. That’s why I posted this.

Talk to me :-)

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