from Don't You Dream Impossible Things?
from: Don’t You Dream Impossible Things?

My most recent one night hook-up really threw me for a loop.

I was bent over in front of him and, as he was fucking me, I caught my reflection in the full-sized closet mirror and was completely horrified by what I saw.

It totally grossed me out!

And I couldn’t stop staring at my reflection.

Stuck, like a deer in headlights!

What makes it worse is the knowledge that men are visually stimulated…



Since that moment, I haven’t been able to shake that disgusting snapshot in time and that’s all I can see when I look at myself – with or without clothes.

I thought I was okay with my appearance.

Apparently not.

It’s a little disappointing on so many levels.

I thought I was doing well


How do I change the way I see me?



15 thoughts on “Self-Impressions

  1. The way many men see us women is very far from being as critical as we are on ourselves. I learned that from being in this erotic corner of blogging and from a couple of comedians. It helped me to ease up but I’m still critical until I start thinking of how I could be in worse shape. It’s all relative because when you’re 85, you’re gonna look back at you now and think you looked great!

    1. It’s funny you say that, Jayne. I wrote a post a while back about how men don’t see what we see. I need to find it and read it to myself as a reminder.

      And you are so right about being relative. I had the greatest body in high school and my early 20s and I thought it was gross too. It’s the flabby belly all stretched out now. Drives me crazy!

      Thank you!! ❤

      1. Oh, I know I can think back like that too but that does me no good. A 22 yr old was asking our trainer how to lose some fat around her waist. Inside I thought of what we’re talking about. I told her that in 20 years, she’s going to look back and wonder why she thought she had fat on her waist, Really – she’s only got extra fat by that insane photo/model media standard. Relativity, exercise and for me to stop eating as much as I like are all the tools I have – and finding a guy with “lovely” eyes. ; )

  2. laughing!
    you’re supposed to love yourself.
    remember you were looking at yourself super close up and only seeing your flaws.
    he would’ve had his eyes closed and been in absolute heaven and rapture and not worried about a single wrinkle or bit of flab.
    And giggle, at least…

  3. Believe at your own risk, this is just my theory: I don’t think you can change the way you see yourself unless you are a meditative being who is conscious and in control of everything on their mind or you are a bohemian whose ability to not care is unparalleled. So, first step would be to attempt to please yourself with how you look – lose some weight, wear the right clothes, change your hairstyle etc. – and then see how people around you react. Second step is to start believing in compliments from people around you. Most are out of courtesy, but just shun away your modesty and start believing them, maybe some of them are really true. Third step is to look back at yourself in the mirror with those compliments running through your mind, and wallah!, a better looking is staring back from the mirror.

    I know there are many people who talk about inner beauty, being appreciative of the self than depending on others etc. but for most of us social animals, we dress, drive, work and live mostly to ensure that we look good in others eyes, in our own mind (kind of a ping-pong-ping effect). Makes sense? Ha ha.

    So here goes, I am sure you are a very attractive person going by the way your mind describes things and also because you have had a few men at least interested in you over different periods of time. Assuming that you believe at least a couple of those men where attractive, and assuming that most attractive men (and some not so attractive men like myself) are assholes when they look at women and only want to be associated with a pretty woman. So do the math…no I mean, seriously do it. Start. If a depends on b, and the Tan x of a is equal to Sin x/Cos x of b….well, you get the drift.

    You look awesome hon! Remember that…


    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to say all that! It was amazing and 100% correct. I’ve been working on the weight but hit another plateau – so maybe some new clothes will help do the trick – and believing what others say! (and attempt to get over the importance of appearance. Haha…)

      (Love your formula!! It’s perfect. And I am sure you are a perfectly attractive man! XOXO)

  4. You must NEVER be ashamed of your body. He kept fucking didn’t he 😉
    As we get older our eyes get bad lol :)<3

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