My Amazing Aesthetician

Not only does she give a great Brazilian, she is very wise.

At all my appointments, we talk about the men in our lives (mostly mine, because she is more at peace with herself and her needs).

Last time, I mentioned I am getting frustrated with myself because I can’t figure out what/who I want.

I’m restless. Feeling old. I mentioned that I didn’t really want to reschedule another waxing next month because… what’s the point?

I keep flipping through Tinder. Goodness knows what I’m looking for. I make a match. Maybe we hookup, then have brief meaningless conversations that drop off to nothing. We stay matched for a while, and ‘Poof’! (The one from a couple weeks ago is kind of hanging on. We haven’t hooked up again though, only sexy texts.)

Then there’s Deamboat-Fiancé. He was a Tinder swipe who was only supposed to be a one-nighter… Now he’s making plans for us and our future together in Steamboat! And I am thinking about it semi-seriously (no skating rinks up there, though 😦 ).

Every once in a while, I take a scroll through craigslist to see if anything or anyone is interesting. But I still have Mick until the end of September (maybe longer. Who knows?) and I have comfortably settled in to whatever it is that we have: I help him feel better and listen and he helps me with my shit. I know he still lurks on there for a good laugh; it would suck for him to find my new ad and respond! 😉 (♫ If you like ♪ Pina Coladas… ♫ ROFL!)

And I still communicate with Alaska off and on. He has a nice cock that I really really miss and we have great conversation, but I haven’t seen him again since the Amanda incident (even though I have wanted to and may have tried once… He “acted” like he didn’t know what was happening. It was for the better. *sigh*). AND he has no problem putting keeping up with my high energy personality – I find most men, even younger ones, have a hard time not getting physically and emotionally exhausted when they’re with me.

Each of these three men have unique qualities that I like very much (which is why I keep them around 😉 ), but none of them seem to be the “entire package”.

Is that what’s so frustrating to me?

Maybe I have spread myself between all three “incomplete men” because I am afraid of letting only one have my heart and my self again?

And what happens when I actually have to make a choice between the three???

The horror!!

This is where the wisdom of my aesthetician comes into play (who is, by the way, totally my type. If I was into women, that is…):

“Why do you have to make the choice? Why do you have to choose any one of them? Why can’t you be happy with who you are and enjoy these men for who they are? As far as I can see it, until any of them actually can (or wants to) commit serious time and effort to you, do whatever the fuck you want. Even after that, if you want. It’s your life. Don’t worry about it or what others think about it!”

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