The Last Word, Part 1

The Last Word, Part 1

Right now Mick is away on a 10-day motorcycle excursion to Cincinnati and back for an American Legion thing.

With his girlfriend.

I may or may not have mentioned before that Mick is very involved with the Sons of the American Legion and the Legion Riders here in Colorado: he is vice-commander of the state.

Also, his girlfriend is involved with the Sisters of the American Legion. That’s how they met 10 years ago and that is why they are going on this trip together.

She gets to ride on the back of his motorcycle. She gets to stay in his hotel room. She gets to eat meals with him. She gets to explore Cincinnati and the Ohio countryside with him during their down-time. Theoretically, anyway…

Ignore

Another presumption is, she also ‘gets’ to pay for everything that isn’t paid for by the Sons (or Sisters) of the American Legion.

In addition to all of that, she also gets to be ignored by Mick (and constantly condescended to) because he is always irritated by her stupidity – I have heard the way he talks to her. Sometimes she calls when we’re together…

So, he treats her like crap while he’s texting me about how “someday” *I* will be going on these trips with him and “if *I* were with” how much more fun he would be having. Also, he leaves her behind on excursions he decides to take by himself because he would rather be doing them with me.

I am extremely upset with him for how he treats his girlfriend.

It drives me crazy! He’s so flippant and dismissive of her.

I’ve told him numerous times that I can totally see myself in her position in a couple of years. Recently, I’ve been seeing similarities in the way he speaks to me and the way I see him speak to her on the phone. They are not good similarities, if you know what I’m saying…

I’ve also stated:

If you really don’t like her and are planning on being with me forever as you so profess, you need to get out from under her umbrella of CASH, start taking care of your own bills/self and get your own place AND AN IDENTITY!! My fucking ex-husband AND ex-boyfriend used up all of my money and I will not be having that ever again.

(Mick has been doing odd jobs for cash and hasn’t been a part of the US economy for over 15 years!!)

The simple fact is: I am totally ready for our 6 months to be up. And it doesn’t appear that he has changed any part of his situation at all!

Mick doesn’t see it that way.

Last Thursday evening we had a brief text interchange and a misunderstanding. It was uncomfortable, but not a big deal. I blew it off to my being upset with him for being such a horsefly to his “Sugar Mama” (and the fact that I’ve just been really fucking crabby lately).

Friday evening arrived and the frustration lingered (duh!). It had been a long week at work; the day hadn’t made it any better. And my stupid interchange with the Tinder Flake definitely didn’t help.

But, bless his little unthoughtful heart, Mick missed me and wanted to chat. It was idle back and forth shit for a while about his friends liking jello shots, but I didn’t want to talk to him. He was there with his girlfriend! I even said so!

Cincinnati_1Cincinnati_2Cincinnati_3

Okay. So now his girlfriend is a bump on a log?!?! Not making any brownie points here, Mister.

Cincinnati_4

I still can’t believe he said that “Just remember that I love you” bullshit!! That was fucked up!

Am I right?!

Because I knew he was going to be sober driver for the next while-and-a-half, I took a moment to cool off and then composed and sent a simple email to express to him how much more frustrated I had just become.

3 times I warned you that I was in a bad mood, yet you persisted.

My telling you that I was crabby? My asking you to go back and try to enjoy the evening with friends? *That* was fair.

You manipulating my feelings there at the end? You repeatedly ignoring my telling you I was in a bad mood? Those things were *not* fair.

That was mega shitty when you turned it back onto me after I got upset with you for manipulating me with emotions.

Of course he had to respond. It’s so important to some people that they have the last word.

Telling me you are in a bad mood doesn’t mean that you don’t want to talk. I want to share my life with you and you with me whether we be in a good mood or a bad one. Excuse me for having emotions and giving a shit about you.

If you want to be fair, that would be saying, I’m in a bad mood and don’t want to talk. No manipulating intended, just a statement of fact to let you know that I care very much and hoped that it might cheer you up a bit.

A little interruption. Everyone was ready to go back to their hotels and took awhile to reply.

Again with the manipulation, “Excuse me for having emotions and giving a shit about you.” (What the fuck? Is he a teenage girl?!?)

These people are also usually the ones who can’t admit when they are at fault…

LastWord

To be continued…

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12 thoughts on “The Last Word, Part 1

  1. His messages to you are a way to sooth his guitly conscience. he feels bad about how he treats both of you. He has no respect for either of you and never will. You are both points of convience. She is a check book. You are there to boost his manly ego. I have been where you are. Things will never change unless you choose to change them. and the only healthy choice for you is to remove yourself from his ego trip. Hugs and best wishes.

    1. Thank you so much, Sweetheart ❤

      Right now I am watching him crucify himself. He just keeps digging himself a bigger and bigger hole and I'm letting him. At this point, I just want him to finish the shit with Lil Bear and be done with him. I've even considered that it would be easier for me to just as Loserman to help me *sigh* (j/k – kinda 😋)

      1. Breath deep and find your inner bold. There are many men on this earth who think we can not survive without them. And the reality is we can conqure all kinds of shit just fine on our own. You will find your own path and hopefully one of those men who respects you and your ablity to stand tall. And he will choose to lift you up instead of putting you to sit quietly on the side while he plays at life.

  2. Two things caught my attention on this post.

    1. The quote – “It’s tough when someone special starts to ignore you. It’s tougher to pretend you don’t mind” – kind of sums up my life currently 🙂 Guess, these quotes hit the right chords at the right times. Thanks for sharing that

    Ok, now that I got the selfish part out of the way –

    2. The way the following sentence was broken in two – “…you were OK being the bitch on the side”. I want you to be
    – and the sentence breaks into the next text –

    more than that.

    Now if the punctuations were interchanged on line one, it could sound a whole lot different. In fact, I was shocked that he was saying that, before I read the punctuations (sometimes, my brain is slow). But in any case, I wouldn’t allow any person I love, to call themselves a “bitch”. I would want them to stop saying anything derogatory about themselves, no matter what.

    Anyway, the world is filled with people who just want everything – to be loved, to do whatever they want and also to not do what they don’t want. True love, to me, is to really care for the other person enough to see each other’s futures together. Not through binoculars, closing one eye each time to see a better view.

    Just me and my thoughts, I guess. After all, what do I know. I’ve never known what “true love” is….never been loved by someone I loved…maybe I am that biker guy too…just no bike to ride 🙂

    1. #1 – that quote really hit me, too. It’s like he can’t see what he’s doing to her, and I’ve been on her side of things. No matter what I say about how it feels to be her, he won’t try to understand. I’m really sorry – heartache is pretty shitty .
      #2 – I wish he only wanted me as his mistress/bitch. You’re totally right, he’s tunnel-visioning on this. What he is feeling isn’t “true love”. Otherwise he would be more like you and want me to be happy even if that meant I wasn’t with him.

      Thank you! xxxxxx

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