So, after Mick hung up on me Tuesday morning, the thought crossed my mind, “Cool! Now I don’t have to figure out how to break up with him at the end of the month.”
I realize that is a very bitchy thought, but the mother-fucker just hung up on me after telling me he was done. What was I supposed to think?
Of course I was supposed to think that he didn’t really mean it!
30 minutes after ending our relationship, Mick sent me the following email, titled “I’m Sorry”:
I have to apologize for that outburst. In no way do I want you to go away at all, but that conversation got under my skin really bad.
I do know what it is like when you don’t know “why”.
After 25 years, I can only surmise. And will never truly know.
The real deal is, if they don’t think enough about you to tell you, there probably wasn’t much respect there anyway.
I really don’t want to do anything except love on you.
Let’s talk on Monday. More than just some chat while we work on your car.
All I read was fucking excuses; he’s still not able to take any responsibility. Also, inadvertently telling me that I chose an asshole as my soul mate was probably not going to earn any brownie points with me.
“I really don’t want to do anything except love on you.” Is that so? Then why the hell did you just tell me you were done and then hang up on me.
And, you can chat your ass off on Monday, mother-fucker. I have nothing more to say to you. Things ended with you when you ended them with me. You don’t get any do-overs from that – especially since you already have a fucking girlfriend!!!
It took a little over an hour for me to cool down enough to reply (in truth, I am still not sufficiently cooled off). Even now I think I should have waited until NEVER. I am absolutely not okay (even one bit) with his behavior , and answering him still only seems like I’m telling him it was okay to act that way…
I don’t know how to respond. Telling someone it’s over and hanging up on them is not acceptable. How would you like me to respond? What should I say to you right now?
It would have been preferable for you to say that you can’t talk any more and you would like to take some time.
Anyway, I don’t feel like talking to you for a while. I am way more angry with you now than I was before and I don’t think there is anything I can say right now that won’t hurt you. Also, I am having a tough time figuring out how to word things with you. Apparently, I am not communicating effectively enough when I am upset.
All I wanted to hear you say for a while is “I love you”.
You not knowing “why” has nothing to do with “us”. I can help you deal with it. But it is not “our” problem.
I am not hanging with you to honor some contract and dismiss you when it is done. I am genuinely trying to make things work out with an “us” because I see potential.
Let’s talk Monday.
Ummm….. Here’s a clue – that was definitely NOT the way to go about getting me to say “I love you”!!!
You’re fucking right, horsefly! My not knowing “why” doesn’t have anything to do with “us”. That’s what I tried to tell you Tuesday morning when you weren’t listening to me. I MADE THAT SHIT UP as an excuse for my frustration because YOU WEREN’T LISTENING TO MY REAL PROBLEMS.
And NO, I don’t want your fucking help with it!!
By the way, if it bothers me enough to keep me from wanting to try for an “us”, then it is “our” problem.
I honestly don’t see what potential he sees. We have nothing in common. He doesn’t even know what kind of music I prefer listening to, or my favorite color, or even when my fucking birthday is! He doesn’t drink, he doesn’t smoke weed, he doesn’t like watching NFL Football (le gasp!!!), he eats shit food and doesn’t take care of himself.
And he doesn’t listen…
Fine! I was hoping that would be the last I heard from him until Monday (today), but no such luck.
At 7:30PM that same evening, I received a message from him, “I remember that we agreed in our contract to talk within 48 hours when we’re upset. That is exactly what we should be doing any time there is an issue.”
Okay. It’s barely been 10 hours. I’m leaving to go skating until late.
I didn’t mean right now.
Now we’re back to idle chatter about weather and how the other slept last night *sigh*
What bomb are you talking about? Do you mean the weather?
Or do you mean when you broke up with me yesterday morning and then hung up on me?
Because, yeah, that was quite the disappointment bomb! I can’t believe that your 59-year-old self chose to act like a spoiled teenage girl and now expects me to overlook it like it was nothing…