Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

The Final Insane Rantings of a Desperate Gaslighter

on September 8, 2016

Previous post here


After I asked Mick to please stop because I feared for my and my family’s safety, he opened the proverbial flood gates.

It was like he had spent the past couple of days constructing hateful notes to me and then sent them all as soon as I re-engaged.

The first was his flippant comment email:

That sounds pretty threatening. 

I’m sending you the other stuff that I have written. And then it will be turned over to the psychiatrist I spoke of in my other writings as evidence should you do something crazy to get your way.


Should *I* do something crazy?!?!

Am I missing something here?

After that, he sent three more.

The following emails are the most hateful, evil, condescending, incorrect, accusatory, and-let’s-just-say-many-other-offensive-things, emails I have ever received in my entire life.

I am posting the screen shots here for you to read if you so choose… And as evidence in case something dreadful actually happens…

Email #2


“I have also found that I know somebody who works for your company.”

“Your story is always different than what several other people tell. Why is that?”


I sure hope those comments were merely a scare tactic, because it worked and I am worried that he’s going around asking everyone he sees about me! (Even though I am aware that the world doesn’t revolve around me and that he probably hasn’t asked anyone. **uncomfortable laughter**)

Those two comments have me more frightened than anything he’s said. I even considered calling the police and filing a report, but I didn’t want to overreact…


Those comments made me question a couple of statements he has made to me in the past.
– When we first met, Mick’s first wife was killed by her boyfriend 15 years ago (then the BF committed suicide). Recently, that time frame has changed to 25.
– Mick has alluded a few times to having taken someone’s life, but he wasn’t able to tell me more details because then I might turn him in

I now wonder if maybe Mick murdered his ex-wife and her boyfriend… She probably tried to communicate with Mick; tell him she wanted out of the relationship, but he wouldn’t listen. Similar to what’s going on here. So she moved from Kansas City to Phoenix with her new boyfriend to get away from Mick’s scary, gaslighting ass. But then Mick was pissed and built all these stories in his head about her and the new boyfriend – similar to what he’s doing with me now. So he got rid of all his possessions and his identity and followed them to Phoenix, killed them and then moved to the Colorado mountains to live as a hermit for 10 years.

Oh my goodness! Now who’s making up stories?!?

Seems kinda believable though, eh?

Fuckslut is a great word, though… I think I will use that one.

Email #3


Yeah… I’m sure that giant list of negative things was only about me.


I’d be surprised as hell if he’s given any of this to anyone, let alone spoken with someone about it. He’s totally whackadoo and I would hope a professional would see that.

Thank goodness *I* twisted off!?!?!? Yes, thank the fucking Universe on that note!!! Managing that giant tax burden for you so you can continue to live under the radar would be so totally fucking awesome for me. That would make YOU exactly the same kind of moocher as my ex-husband and Loserman. Thanks for NOT doing that, asshole!!! That would have caused a whole OTHER problem.

Email #4 – This one will be split in the middle… A two-fucking-parter… Then it’s over.


I think he added that first sentence at the last minute, before he hit his final “Send”.

The last comments about my job and my father and promotions? I had to re-read that 4 times to make any sense of it. And, if I understood it correctly, most of it is wrong.


  • I gave him TWO examples of when I thought he was being too demanding of my time….
  • I removed his hand from my arm because his rough and calloused finger had been rubbing the same exact spot for too long and it was starting to feel raw.
  • I was joking about the willow switch because there were hundreds of willow trees where he said he was looking. (also, I was incredibly tired. I couldn’t stop yawning the entire time we were together. I even asked him if I could go home because I was so wasted. He ignored my request for almost an hour before he brought me back home)

I am in fact, mean, hateful and full of great anger… TOWARDS MICK!

So many lies and concoctions woven into a few simple truths… Just enough for me to seriously question my sanity.

Since September 4th, I have had no more contact with him. I have blocked his phone number and all his emails go directly to my SPAM folder.

Even so, it was (and is) very tough to read those letters without taking them to heart.

At least partly.

I am so grateful I have actual friends to help remind me –

I am NONE of those horrible things.

And, aside from being a little worried that I will find him lurking around every single corner I turn, I feel much happier now that he’s gone.

13 responses to “The Final Insane Rantings of a Desperate Gaslighter

  1. Hope that these fears fade and he stays from away from your life.
    Get the feeling he’s done all this stuff before,
    more than once

  2. bmayes76 says:

    This guy! I’d be getting a gun if I were you or some form of protection. Baseball bat, something to seriously injure him should he decide to seriously slide off his rocker. And I agree with liverpoolmunky76. He likely has done this before. Repeatedly.

    • Baseball bat can be looked at funny, a pen or a set of keys can do more damage. My wife used to keep pens in her hair for that reason.

      • bmayes76 says:

        A baseball bat can easily be kept at your doors at home. Typically when I am somewhere at night with out my husband, I will hold my car keys pointed out in my fist. That way I can go straight for the eyes.

      • smitten says:

        I almost always have a pen in my hair! And the crazy girl at work told me to get a bat… I’ve been doing the key thing for 20 years – always have my keys!

        Thanks for the love!!! ❤

    • smitten says:

      I am thinking you are both correct. He was so “normal” and matter-of-fact about everything.

  3. Regarding your instinct to call the police, and your rationalization to not do that thing:

    I had not been away from my (incredibly dangerous) ex very long when he sent me an email that put me in such a panic that my friends convinced me to call the police. He was thousands of miles away at the time, and I was sure that the police could do nothing about it… but I called, to humor them. They. Were. Awesome. The officer I spoke with admitted that they couldn’t do anything about his emailing me, but she calmed me down and reminded me that every single thing he was doing could be prosecuted if I wanted to do like that. She talked me through sending his messages to a whole ‘nother folder that I could ignore forever, or forward to a friend so they could keep an eye on this nutjob. And then she promised to get in touch with his local force and have them keep an eye on him, in case he up and disappeared, so they’d know that maybe he was headed my way and they could watch out for me. Oh, and the most important bit: there was an official record that he’d continued harassing me long after I moved away, so that whatever came next wouldn’t be “his first incident.” Defense attorneys need to be able to play the “but he’s never done anything like this” card in order to get their clients off, and that’s blown right the fuck out of the water if you’ve got a record of Police Contact. Not a record of other emails that apparently weren’t scary enough for you to say anything, an actual official record with your city or county.

    tl;dr The police? Call them. Worst case scenario, they take a report and a copy of the emails and it’s his First Thing. Don’t wait for him to turn up on your doorstep with a weapon, or slash your tires, or fuck with your job. You will be so pissed if he gets away with it because it was “just that one time.”

  4. Additionally, because maybe it needs to be said, all of my above advice is based on the fact that he is sending you emails after you asked him to go away and you are afraid. I haven’t actually gone back and read the whole story (sorry! Life, it’s all wonky right now) and I don’t need to know which of you is right or wrong. I don’t need to know if your messages in the past indicated that you were mentally unbalanced – or even if the recent ones did! (He can contact the police himself if he feels threatened) – and I don’t need to know if you really were bitchy and nit-picky mean and hateful and leading him on and impossible to please and a liar and the worst sub ever while pretending to be his dream girl and whatever the fuck else he accuses.

    It. Doesn’t. Matter.

    You get to break up. You get to tell people to go away and leave you alone. And they have to do it. No. Matter. What.

    Nobody gets to harass and frighten another person, for any reason – and especially not “because they broke up but I’m not done yet.”

    • smitten says:

      Thank you so much, sweetheart!! These emails all came after I told him I was starting to get worried for my self and my family.

      However, he hasn’t said or done anything since I stopped responding to him. Although, I am sure he has a plethora of email drafts saved up from the past few days of radio silence. Or, perhaps, his friend’s “clinical psychiatrist” buddy told him he actually needs to stop because he’s acting psychotic.

      My paranoia has me checking the cars every morning and evening before I drive away and my daughters have been instructed not to answer the door if they aren’t expecting someone. But it was 2 months before his ex was killed… Maybe he’s lulling me with a false sense of security. Good thing I am moving in 10 days!

  5. Wow, that was a lot of scary stuff indeed. I hope he is just all words and no action. But like what the other blogger mentioned, it might be good to report this, just for safety’s sake.

    All will be well, Smitten. Take care

Talk to me :-)

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