After almost a year of “dating” once a month or so still no sex.
No hope for it either, really. He was happy rubbing on my nyloned legs and taking pictures of them in heels and hose, but was also happy enough just to go home and whack the sausage alone after it was all said and done. One time he even mentioned how strange he thought it was that he never felt comfortable kissing me.
So there wasn’t any kissing either…
Well, that’s not quite true… Near the beginning of our “dating adventure”, we kissed once or twice when we went to the midnight movie, but it was nothing to write about (I briefly mentioned it in the comments afterward).
At first I didn’t mind it. I liked the attention, but eventually it started to frustrate me. Because, as you know, I really really really like sex (kissing, too)!!
It sucks getting gussied up, putting on pantyhose and heels and a fancy dress to go out for a burger and a movie and then not even get a kiss!!!
So, for our last date, I didn’t do any of that. I was just regular, old me. (That, and he took me out directly after work, so he wasn’t expecting me to get too dressed up.)
Things started off as usual, with his incessant complaining about his ex-wife; comparing her to the few women he has dated since their split – they’ve been divorced for almost 15 years and he still rants about her like they just started the process!
I asked him to stop, because we were on a date.
It ended up being an argument.
The evening immediately went downhill and nearly everything he did after that irritated the hell out of me. For some reason, it was like I was seeing an entirely different person. Maybe initially I was looking at him through rose-colored glasses, or maybe I hadn’t reached my tolerance limit yet…
Who knows? All I can say is that he suddenly became irksome to me.
He asked me where I wanted to go for dinner and I told him about this yummy pizza place next to the theater we were going to.
“Hmmm….” was his thoughtful response.
Then he suggested someplace else. “I hear City Pub is a good place. Let’s try there.”
Ummmmm… Why did you ask where *I* wanted to go if you already knew where you were taking me?
After we were seated, while we’re reading the menu, he says, “The burgers are really good here. My favorite is the <blah>.”
“I thought you said you’d heard this was a good place,” I said.
“Oh, yeah. My friends and I come here at least once a month,” he replied
WTF??? Wouldn’t that mean, it’s one of your favorite places then, asshole?!?!
After we finished dinner, we went to see The Accountant with Ben Affleck. I liked it alright and I was entertained more than I expected.
On the other hand, Mr. Nice Guy (who had been practically begging me to see this specific movie with him) didn’t really like it at all. He said it was too “unrealistic”.
Really?!?!?! No shit?!? You thought a movie about a superhero accountant would seem believable?!?!
Usually we hang out talking and getting high for a couple of hours, but after the movie was finished he brought me straight home and dropped me off.
With no kiss… (Although I neither wanted nor expected one)
When I got back to my apartment, I told Thing #1, “I think that was our last date. It was terrible. It started out terrible with an argument about his ex and it ended even worse. He didn’t even like the movie he’s been begging me to go see with him.”
Needless to say, I was surprised the following Monday when Mr. Nice Guy sent me a text asking what I wanted to do on our next date and how I needed to dress up for him again because that was so much more fun.
Yeah, for HIM!
I tried to be kind and briefly explained that I hate wearing pantyhose because they are so dreadfully uncomfortable and I really only wear them for ‘special occasions’ (if you catch my drift).
He didn’t understand what I was trying to say and responded, “None of my other lady friends have ever mentioned that. Most of them tell me they enjoy wearing nylons.”
I didn’t want to argue so I asked if we could talk about it later in person.
“That sounds ominous,” he said.
Still, he dropped by my office on his way home that day and I broke the sad news to him.
He took it extremely well…