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What to say…

Image result for egyptian steampunk costumes

Last week Dreamboat PM’d me on Facebook to invite me to a costume party.

It’s an Egyptian Steampunk Costume Party.

Sounds fun, right?

As you may or may not know, I am not a social events type of girl – especially if I don’t know anyone there and I don’t arrive at the choice to go there on my own.

That latter bit is something I just learned about myself. Maybe it seems dumb that I didn’t see that before now, but I am stubborn. If I feel any pressure at all to do something I don’t want to do, I then want to do it even less.

Recently I have been forcing myself to get out and do those different things, but they are events and environments and times of my choosing. That way I can feel a little more in control of the situation…  and I can leave whenever I want.

AND!!! I have not yet established Dreamboat to be a “safe place”.

Meaning = my daughter knows about my crazy and sometimes erratic feelings, emotions and behavior. It’s tough to find a person who can just go along with my flow like that. I’m not entirely sure that Dreamboat can be one of those people. Especially when, on his part, there is so little contact and interest in my life and what’s going on and what interests me.

APO = Apogaea
SBS = Steamboat Springs

For a while I considered going along, but my mind changed when he said I might be able to catch a ride home with strangers… And I really didn’t like his comment about “the Greyhound return trip“… The only thing that seems different about it is that I will be 3 hours closer to home (by car).

It would be kinda cool if he acted like he gave a shit about my feelings…

What do *you* think?

Am I a silly girl to feel that way?

No matter any of this… I am looking for a Daddy and Dreamboat cannot be that…

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8 thoughts on “What to say…

    1. Yeah… I kinda wish he’d come to see me, just me, the way that I go to see him, just him. But at least he’s even making the effort, right? And it doesn’t hurt to try new things….

      Thanks so much for your comment.

  1. Given what you say your potential party issues are, it doesn’t sound like he’s willing to cater to those issues / whims, and it could end up being a bad experience for you. I wouldn’t go.

    1. Thanks, Ann. That’s kinda how it seemed to me. Even though it’s excessive, I might consider going if we took separate cars…. I know getting out there is something I *need* to do.

      Much appreciated!

  2. I understand that he is not reaching out all the way, but I have a feeling he wants to be with you, but is just not expressive enough. I might be wrong too, as some of his words and actions seems to point to a more shallow behavior. I would think you should go to the party if you think that will be a break from things for you, but try your best to keep your expectations to a low, if possible.

    1. I think you are totally right. Much of it has to do with the fact that he’s 48 and has never been in a serious relationship and doesn’t have children. In my dating experience, men my age *(or older) who have never had to make those personal sacrifices kinda have a tendency to be a little more shallow and self-absorbed.

      Ultimately, I have decided to go to the party. Ann’s comment helped me work out that I should just take a separate vehicle. Then I would have control over my situation and he can still do whatever he wants…

  3. Never hurts to try something new and not necessarily in your comfort zone.
    I wasn’t impressed with his attitude but if you have your own vehicle then what the heck.

Talk to me :-)

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