Since Alaska pretty much shunned me last Monday, I’ve had little-to-nothing to say to him.
In all honesty, I am disgusted.
Disgusted with him.
Disgusted with myself.
DIS – GUS – TED
And disappointed.
Disappointed mostly in myself.
For the last several months I have been watching Alaska and it looked like he had changed.
He seemed like he was respecting me and communicating with me better.
But he was just pretending or acting or whatever.
Because as soon as I let myself become vulnerable with him again, he let me down in the same way as he tends to.
And here I am, alone at the end of the sidewalk trying to find my way home from a place that is becoming all too familiar.
Smitten with Him 
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