Oddly enough, I was rereading some “related posts” when I came across this one: Lost
For the most part, I have overcome that feeling in regards to [Loserman].
Don’t get me wrong, I still feel very lost very much of the time, but situations (car-related and not) keep popping up in life (as they tend to do) and I am handling them on my own, without his help and/or support. Sometimes I probably don’t handle them in the best of ways, but I get through it and then deal with the consequences regardless…
The quoted part is something Beautifulmess7 (miss you!!!) copied and pasted from my post, the rest is her…
“Why wasn’t it enough? What wasn’t I doing that I should have been? What did I do wrong? How do I fix it?”
You need to stop those thoughts. His brokenness has nothing to do with you. You didn’t cause it and you can’t fix it. He is a closed off, irresponsible, disrespectful, disorganized, complete and total mess. That’s just who he is.
Sure, even broken people have good qualities. Even my ex who cheated, lied, manipulated, and abused had some redeeming qualities. He was lazy, a total loser, and completely beneath me. But he had a decent sense of humor and there were good times. He wasn’t a murderer (that I know of) or a child molester. Just because he wasn’t evil incarnate doesn’t mean he was a good partner for me or even a good person. And just because I could see potential of what he could be doesn’t mean he ever would be, and holding onto my fantasy cost me a lot of time and heartache and money.
I know you’re hurting and miss him sometimes, but really… Really. He was not good for you.