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Popcorn Saved My Life

A little over a week ago, while I was driving to my aesthetician for my monthly mons pubis mingis removis, some crazy woman pulled directly in front of me while I was going about 20 miles per hour.

I had to slam on the brakes and crank the steering wheel far to the right in order to avoid hitting her. Breezy lurched up and over the curb and I am surprised as hell that we didn’t run that fucking bitch over!!

Err, that being said, it was unnerving (to say the least) and I was glad that the light was red so I could sit and breathe and recover.

Once I started going again, Breezy seemed okay. I was worried that the intense spaz of it all had hurt his old and rusty body, but the rest of my drive was eventless (thankfully. Because it took me that 15-minutes to recover!).

I had another great talk with my aesthetician where we discussed a possibility of why I feel so attracted to Alaska (talk #1 here).

After I left, Breezy still drove fine… He’s always had a funny, squeaky noise in the front driver’s side wheel, but that’s been there for years. And none of the people who have worked on my car have even mentioned it.

Anyway, it was a regular day at work.

Sometime during the afternoon I thought about stopping at the Whole Foods on my way home to pick up some popcorn in their bulk department (turns out it’s really nummy!).

So, I did just that.

As soon as I turned into the parking lot, Breezy made a strange thunking noise

I was able to turn the steering wheel one last time before it made another thunking noise.

The car was running fine, but I couldn’t steer it any more!

Luckily we were aimed directly at a spot in the back of the lot.

Perfect!

Once Breezy was situated in a parking spot, I tried to move the steering wheel again but it wouldn’t budge.

I turned off the engine and tried really hard not to freak out (that was tough!).

Then, I got out and walked around to the front of my car to see what was wrong.

See how the wheels are wonky?

At first I thought it was the axle or the control arm. And, if that was the case, I would have to let Breezy go 😦

I called Thing #1 to tell her what was going on and that I would be late. Then rambled in her ear for a good 10 minutes. I wasn’t freaking out, but I couldn’t stop crying.

My Breeze is my very last connection to Loserman. Also, I’ve had that car since Thing #2 was very young; it drove our family to Denver almost 9 years ago!

I’m a little attached to it…

After I’d calmed down a notch, I ended my call with Thing #1 and continued on my way to get popcorn at Whole Foods. I needed the time to walk and breathe and wait for my Lyft anyway… (I splurged on a Lyft because I didn’t feel like taking the 2 buses to get home)

While I was wandering through the parking lot and the store and then the parking lot again, I realized something.

What if I hadn’t had that strange whim earlier to stop off and get popcorn?

I would have been stranded in the very center of a very busy stoplight intersection exactly at rush hour!! That’s what!!

Of all days, why did I decide I needed bulk popcorn that day as opposed to the next one or the one before?

Saying I had a brush with death is a little extreme, but I liked the quote and it applies (kinda 😉 )

Happy Friday and I hope your angels keep you safe, too! ❤

P.S. It turns out it was just the tie rod end and, ultimately, only cost me $167 (and about 6 hours waiting on tow trucks… *sigh).

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5 thoughts on “Popcorn Saved My Life

  1. So glad you were not hurt and it didn’t cost more. Even though it cost to much. Wish we could find that b and make her pay

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