I’m not good enough to be anything but last.
How do I know?
People keep showing me
Why can’t I find a partner who thinks I deserve to be first?
There’s always work
Or kids
Or, even worse, a wife
It’s not like I go out looking for them
In fact, I’m not looking for anyone or anything any more
They find me
And then I entertain their conversations long enough
To find out their true colors
which always match the work colors
or the kid colors
or the wife colors
Smitten with Him 
wounds inside the soul will turn you into a “hole” everything finds it and escapes in the darkness. let us put a light in the end, make it a tunnel and hope.