Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

My Psychotic Break (Part 2)

on December 6, 2018

To read Part 1, click HERE

After all that bullshit, we didn’t have another interaction for 6 days.

And it’s the 5th week of barely any contact…

On that Friday afternoon, he sent me a text. “You won’t believe it, but I hyperextended my knee playing basketball last night.”

He was right. I didn’t believe it…

“Oh, that’s terrible,” I answered.

There were a few more trite comments where I tried to be nice and pretend like I gave a shit.

Then our chat was over.

My brain spun out of control

Basically, as soon as I read his initial message

I started devising a plan for the next day

A Saturday

A day he used to set aside for me

It didn’t take very long for me to figure something out…

The next day (Saturday), Thing #1 and I had our normal morning running errands and grocery shopping.

Except, this time, I bought an extra bouquet of flowers because my “dear daddy” hurt his poor, widdle, owie knee…

After unpacking the groceries at home, I grabbed his bouquet (orange and dark reds and masculine colored flowers and leaves, mind you), then headed over to Burger King to pick him up some lunch.

It’s a guilty pleasure of his and I thought (if he really was hurting) he might enjoy some comfort food.

There were actual good intentions behind this insanity.

I even wrapped up a pair of his sexy underwear in a long, strong ribbon, in case he really was home – then we would have something fun to play with 😉

The entire drive to his house, I kept repeating to myself, “He is telling the truth, he is telling the truth…”

Because, the actual fact of it was, I didn’t want him to be lying to me

I didn’t want him to be in major pain either, but if he HAD hurt himself, at least he was being truthful.

I arrived at his house just after noon and sat outside breathing for a few minutes.

There was a huge knot in my throat. I could barely swallow.

What was I afraid of?

If he was telling me the truth, he would be home and answer the door.

If he wasn’t

I grabbed his get-well gifts, walked up to his front door and knocked.

The dog barked inside, raced up to the door and barked a little longer.

I knocked again.

The dog barked again, quieter this time

The door didn’t open like I had hoped it would. and deep down knew it wouldn’t

I set Alaska’s gifts on the chair to the side of the stoop and sent him a text message with a picture of the flowers and his Burger King lunch. “You home? I brought you some get well presents.”

“How thoughtful. I’m not home right now. I’m at urgent care getting my knee looked at.”

I was completely convinced that he was lying to me, but replied, “I hope they can help you. I’ll leave your lunch and flowers here, so you can have them when you get back.”

“Ok. Thank you,” was all he said…

Just then, behind me, I thought I heard footsteps inside the house, and a voice.

I definitely heard the floor creak

Then I heard the door latch

And the floor creak again

Did he just come and lock the door?!?!

I waited on the step for a little while longer, puzzling over what had just happened.

All sorts of destructive thoughts racing through my brain.

Then I decided what I would do next!

A ha!

I would go home and borrow Thing #1’s phone and call Alaska’s business number from her phone.

If he answered, he wasn’t at Urgent Care
If he answered, he was home all along and really was lying to me
If he answered, he really did lock the door behind me while I sat on the stoop

But, if he answered, what was I going to say?

I was still hoping he wouldn’t answer and that he really was at the Doctor’s office.

I told Thing #1 my plan

I told her I knew I was being insane and then asked her if I could use her phone.

On my very first attempt, Alaska answered.

I felt my heart skip a beat and I didn’t know what to sayOBVIOUSLY!!

So, I lied. 

I pretended to be someone I wasn’t – Jeanine. I used a silly voice and told him I was looking to buy a home and that I got his name and number from a friend of mine. (He’s a Realtor…)

As you can probably guess, it didn’t go very well.

Right away he knew who it was. DUH!

“Heather, why are you calling me from a strange number?”

I maintained that I wasn’t Heather… I was truly off my rocker at this point and had no control of what was coming out of my mouth.

When he continued insisting that I was me, I hung up on him.

He called my daughter’s number back and it went to her voicemail… *sigh*

Then he called my phone… I answered like I had no idea what was going on *sigh*

“Heather, what the hell?! You call me from your daughter’s phone pretending to be someone else and now you act like you don’t know anything about it? What is going on with you?”

Deep breath… Fine… “I wanted to prove to myself that you were actually at the Doctor’s office getting your knee checked. But now I know you aren’t! If you were really at Urgent Care like you said, you wouldn’t be taking business calls.”

“I’m waiting for the Doctor to come back.”

Right. Fucking right…. 

“Stop lying to me,” I said.

“You’re crazy right now. You come over to my house and drop off a pair of my sexy underwear? That’s the third time you’ve come over and just dropped shit on my doorstep.”

“I don’t just ‘drop shit on your doorstep’. I told you about it! And, if you’re at the Doctor, how do you know it was underwear?”

“Because my sister-in-law came over to play with the dog and texted me about it.”

“Well, your sister-in-law is a bitch for opening your gift. It was wrapped up pretty well, you know.”

“I asked her to open it. I’m totally out of it. My knee is killing me.”

He must have been out of it! If he was really getting his knee checked… He’s told me a few times that he hates going to the Doctor.

“That was stupid. And it makes me think of something… While I was waiting on your stoop and texting you, someone inside the house locked the door. I heard footsteps, then someone said something to the dog and the door latched.”

“What are you talking about? That door is always open. Family pops in all the time!”

“I thought it was weird, too. For that exact reason. I thought maybe it was you inside the house locking the door so I wouldn’t come in. I don’t know, maybe you have another ‘friend’ over and you wanted to avoid another Amanda Incident,” I said acridly. “You’ve been kind of shady for a while and actively keeping me out of your life. It seems like you have something to hide.”

“Oh my God, Heather, I can’t talk to you right now. This is insane. I’ll call you back later.”

We talked three more times after that.

Each time more painful than the last.

Each time he told me I was being crazy.

Because I was.

Or I wasn’t.

You’re only hearing my side of the story.

And, frankly, it sounds crazy to me.

The very last conversation ended when I said, “You are so selfish.”

And he hung up on me

That was October 2nd.

Yesterday morning, at 9:30, he sent me an email…


2 responses to “My Psychotic Break (Part 2)

  1. I still say good on you. But then I am on your side, so maybe I don’t care about his.

Talk to me :-)

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