So, what happens is:

I spend my entire week (through thoughts of suicide and self-destruction) trying to build myself up and tell myself that I am amazing and smart and worth it – basically, trying to love myself…

(Trust me, it’s not easy fighting the thoughts that I am insane and shit. You *totally* don’t help me. Check it out):

Then I see you, and the things I need to talk about with you, you say “let’s not talk about that” which makes my frustrations seem unimportant to you.

But I NEED to talk about that shit. Even if it seems stupid to you.

Then, **you call me crazy**, and you reinforce all the thoughts I’ve been trying to fight. So, I think again that I’m a a crazy piece of shit, and sink deeper back into that hole of self-loathing because someone I “care about” (you) doesn’t like something about me (my so-called ‘Daddy’ thinks I’m crazy).

I try to reconcile that, but I can’t.

So, I hate myself.

Again.

And more.

After that, I spend the next week trying to build myself up, out of a BIGGER hole, once again trying to tell myself I’m not crazy, that my feelings are relevant and that I am ‘worth it’.

All so you can come over and tell me, yet again, you don’t want to talk about what’s important to me and tell me again that I’m crazy…

It’s a terrible Groundhog Day loop 😢

---