Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Struggling with Purpose

on May 4, 2021

There was a time, a very long time ago, when my children were young

They needed me

We would go places and do things, like people do

And it was difficult sometimes, but we did it

For a while there, my life had some sort of meaning…

…When they were around, I had purpose

Then they got older and I got bored and felt purposeless

So I would create drama

Cheating on my husband, cheating on my “boyfriends”

Was I keeping myself busy so I didn’t care about not having a purpose?

Now that my daughters have been adults for 5-7 years

I am finding it hard to find myself

Over the past two years I have quit, lost, or moved on from so many jobs I can’t even count

Is that my new drama? When I get comfortable someplace, I quit/stop trying/move on?

Why so much self-sabotage?

It’s because I hate myself so much

I don’t think I deserve a purpose

In fact, I don’t think I know how to have or create purpose

Or even how to recognize purpose if it hit me in the face

I get discouraged so easily

Comparison constantly lurking in the background of my thoughts

Why can’t I learn to see myself as others see me?

Where is my self-confidence?

How do I build it?

How do I discover my “Path of Purpose”?

Talk to me :-)

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