Cathartic Word Puke

Cathartic Word Puke

I hope you are well.

Missing you at the moment because we spent so much sexy time together and I could use a little right now…. My weekends have been desolate now that you’re gone.

Anyway, I do not expect or hope that you will reply. This is purely an email I need to write for catharsis because my Daddy is gone and I don’t have someone to talk to…

I quit my “real” job… My last day was yesterday. It feels good because, as you may remember, I felt that they were bullying me. Well, it turns out that they got stuff done by being mean – not something I like. I am less scared than I thought which is surprising as everything scares me any more. And now I am finding that I need validation – someone to tell me I did the right thing…

Good night, Mr. Mentor. I am grateful to you for the tools that you have given me. Be well, warm and safe. I hope you’ve found someone who makes you happier than I ever could. Your happiness is important to me.

Sincerely,
Fish

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Chat

Don’t Be a Dick

I thought he was different than the dude who stole my car

Turns out he’s exactly the same

Signing me up for health insurance quotes and Magic Jack and time share condos and (apparently) my social security number is no longer valid…

I’m getting at least 5 calls a day

Too bad they’re recordings or I would try to sell them on my business

*sigh*

At least he didn’t steal my car…

My Psychotic Break (Part 2)

My Psychotic Break (Part 2)

To read Part 1, click HERE

After all that bullshit, we didn’t have another interaction for 6 days.

And it’s the 5th week of barely any contact…

On that Friday afternoon, he sent me a text. “You won’t believe it, but I hyperextended my knee playing basketball last night.”

He was right. I didn’t believe it…

“Oh, that’s terrible,” I answered.

There were a few more trite comments where I tried to be nice and pretend like I gave a shit.

Then our chat was over.

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Aside

He’s Gone

He’s gone. I shouldn’t be so sad anymore.

But I am.

He’s gone. I should feel relief instead of loneliness.

But I don’t.

He’s gone. I need reach out to others for support.

But I can’t.

He’s gone. I still hate myself for being so stupid.

But I’m not.

He’s gone. So, why am I still broken?

Because he never refilled my cup.

After drinking so selfishly from it…

My Psychotic Break (Part 1)

My Psychotic Break (Part 1)

After I told all you folks that I was completely done with Alaska and never ever in a million years going to take him back,

I took him back.

I was so ashamed that I couldn’t write about it.

Just like all those other times before I stopped writing because of him.

Because I didn’t want to hear your objections.

Because you were right.

And at the end end of it all, I ultimately broke.

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