Chat

Saying “I Love You”

Image result for saying i love you

Sometimes those three words are easy to say.

…to my daughters, my friends…

Other times, even thinking about their utterance is frightening.

I yearn to tell Alaska that I love him, but I don’t.

Is it fear of rejection?

I know he won’t reject me…

If he was going to reject me, it would have been long before now. Read more

Aside

Gifts

Someone sent me a gift box last Friday.

Unfortunately I was off promoting Rollerbrights with my crew in Nebraska when it was delivered and I didn’t get it until yesterday (Monday).

I received a message from him while we were at dinner Friday night which surprised the hell out of me! He had asked a while back for an address where he could send me something he’d gotten for me, but it completely slipped my mind.

In my package there was gorgeous set of notepads, my (new) favorite movie and a pair of silver hoop earrings.

Read more

Chat

People Change

There are a couple of posts from over a year ago – namely this one – that paint Alaska in a bad light… “we” were new and I was scared/timid and not able to communicate my feelings to him. So I communicated them here… It’s still scary for me to go back and read some of those words because it’s truly how I felt.

But, as our “old” relationship evolved, I got better at communicating with him…

As a matter of fact, I “broke up” with him on New Year’s Eve (2015) because I had expressed my feelings to him and he chose to ignore them.

AND, even after that, as we re-continued things, I was able to articulate all my feelings to him when the whole Amanda incident happened…

When I read that post now it still hurts, but I wonder if maybe Alaska was just as shocked about things as I was… I mean, we did just finish a whole orgasmic mutual masturbation thing… 😉 and were in our post-coital cuddling place… naked… and he made love to me three times after that…

 …and he with me (even though his communication is more non-verbal) – The Morning After

Read more

Video

Monday Motivation: A Brand New Ending

“Every person was born to live out the dream they have inside”

“There is a thief in your mind who is after your dreams, his name is DOUBT. If you see him, call the cops and keep him away from the kids, cuz he is wanted for murder. For he has killed more dreams than failure ever did. He wears many disguises and, like a virus, will leave you blinded and divided and will turn you into a ‘kinda’.”

“If you ‘kinda’ want something, then you will ‘kinda’ get the results you want. What is that dream? What ignites that spark? You can’t ‘kinda’ want that, you gotta want it with every part of your whole heart.”

“You will fall many times, but who’s counting?”

“Pain is life. But you can choose what type. Either the pain on the road to success, or the pain of being haunted with regret.”