About a week ago, Alaska asked me to drive him to a client’s upcoming new home (or however you want to say it. I’m not a Realtor® and I don’t technically care about the technicality of it 😉 )…
… because the new home buyers wanted to take some measurements for some stuff they were moving in and other stuff they wanted to buy, yadda. yadda…
The thing about it was, we had already made a different type of plan to spend time together.
Have lunch, watch some cool stuff on the computer…
Other stuff… (I really like the other stuff!)
Right now my ‘relationship’ isn’t going anywhere… Timeline-wise anyway…
And I am totally okay with that.
On the surface, I think that I am ready; I act like I am ready.
I want to be ready… I write about it here – how much I crave it…
Long-term relationship companionship…
Sometimes those three words are easy to say.
…to my daughters, my friends…
Other times, even thinking about their utterance is frightening.
I yearn to tell Alaska that I love him, but I don’t.
Is it fear of rejection?
I know he won’t reject me…
If he was going to reject me, it would have been long before now. Read more
Before dinner last Thursday evening, we were having a discussion on the power of positive thinking…
It’s true, there isn’t anything you want that you can’t have.
Yes there is.
There is? Tell me what you want that you can’t have.
I’m right here, aren’t I?
Last Monday He called me “Baby”.
He’s never called me that before.
He usually calls me “Sweetheart”.
I think it just slipped out.
Which made it feel even better.
He kissed me good-bye, too.
It’s the little things.
A friend of mine said something to me last week that made me think (probably more than I should have):
“The first time in the BDSM life style can be a bit overwhelming and, if you really enjoy it, a person can fall fast and hard for their first partner if they are not careful.”
I remember how much I liked my first “boyfriend”…
How enamored I was with the man I gave my virginity to…
Firsts are special.
Since our little ‘disagreement‘ a couple of weeks ago, I haven’t had much to say to Alaska.
He has called to check up on me a few times and my interaction with him has been minimal at best.
Also, I have been trying to stay busy so it’s easier to say, “No” to him when he wants to ‘hang out’.
It’s difficult to share pieces of myself and be vulnerable when I don’t feel I’m being appreciated.
Thank you for today. I can still feel you inside me.
I like carrying you around with me and feeling your cum squish out of my pussy…
Yeah. I like leaving my nut in you. Next time I’m going to make you squeeze a fresh load out of your pussy and spoon feed it to you.
Mmmm… I’ll pretend it’s ice cream – the chocolate kind.
Oddly enough, I was rereading some “related posts” when I came across this one: Lost
For the most part, I have overcome that feeling in regards to [Loserman].
Don’t get me wrong, I still feel very lost very much of the time, but situations (car-related and not) keep popping up in life (as they tend to do) and I am handling them on my own, without his help and/or support. Sometimes I probably don’t handle them in the best of ways, but I get through it and then deal with the consequences regardless…
Read Part 1 HERE
For all the ‘screwing around’ we’d been doing over the past couple of days, Dreamboat still hadn’t had one single orgasm, which he says is totally normal to him. While I’d cum countless times…
He and I have talked about it before, blue balls and all that, but he says that he’s never experienced that phenomenon even once. Personally, I feel bad and kind of like a failure when I don’t bring my partner to climax.
This may be oversharing, but WTF this is my blog… Dreamboat has one fake testicle. He was in a car accident when he was a teenager and now he’s left with a pretty messed up ankle and a fake testicle. The right one feels like a ping pong ball and the left one feels normal. Needless to say, it makes giving him head a bit interesting…
Oh! And another thing, he doesn’t even like blow jobs (Not even mine!)!!! He giggles like it tickles him. LOL! (Although, I have to admit it’s kind of nice to get a break from Alaska’s almost-constant face-fucking)