Wonder and Courage

 

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Don’t Be a Dick

I thought he was different than the dude who stole my car

Turns out he’s exactly the same

Signing me up for health insurance quotes and Magic Jack and time share condos and (apparently) my social security number is no longer valid…

I’m getting at least 5 calls a day

Too bad they’re recordings or I would try to sell them on my business

*sigh*

At least he didn’t steal my car…

You Are So Wise!

My Psychotic Break (Part 2)

To read Part 1, click HERE

After all that bullshit, we didn’t have another interaction for 6 days.

And it’s the 5th week of barely any contact…

On that Friday afternoon, he sent me a text. “You won’t believe it, but I hyperextended my knee playing basketball last night.”

He was right. I didn’t believe it…

“Oh, that’s terrible,” I answered.

There were a few more trite comments where I tried to be nice and pretend like I gave a shit.

Then our chat was over.

Forgive Yourself

My Psychotic Break (Part 1)

After I told all you folks that I was completely done with Alaska and never ever in a million years going to take him back,

I took him back.

I was so ashamed that I couldn’t write about it.

Just like all those other times before I stopped writing because of him.

Because I didn’t want to hear your objections.

Because you were right.

And at the end end of it all, I ultimately broke.

Bipolarity

I’ve been seeing a shrink

It started after I told Thing #1 I wanted to kill myself and asked if she wanted to come with

That was when I finally realized I was out of control

It’s been since high school, some 30 years ago that I’ve felt so self-destructive

My Stolen Self

I hate you for stealing me from myself

I am so broken that all I can see is the ugly in people

Taking advantage of those who are generous

Lying, cheating and stealing to get what they want

Or to hurt someone deeply

Intentionally

And I am becoming that person

I’ve lost my trust

My willingness to help

It’s so hard to be nice

To remember that everyone has a story I don’t know

My heart used to be eager

Innocent

But it’s dead now

Or maybe in a coma

I’m Over It

Kink isn’t my thing.

I tried it and I like it.

But I am unable to find a compatible partner.

And I’m sick of trying.

It hurts too much.

Trying Something New

So, I have mentioned a couple of times here that I am trying to build my own Network Marketing business

I even wrote a post asking my readers to check it out and let me know what they think of it

A few actually did

Now I am here again asking for your support in my new-ish endeavor