About a week ago, Alaska asked me to drive him to a client’s upcoming new home (or however you want to say it. I’m not a Realtor® and I don’t technically care about the technicality of it 😉 )…
… because the new home buyers wanted to take some measurements for some stuff they were moving in and other stuff they wanted to buy, yadda. yadda…
The thing about it was, we had already made a different type of plan to spend time together.
Have lunch, watch some cool stuff on the computer…
Other stuff… (I really like the other stuff!)
Love this quote… It’s in another post back there somewhere…
A friend of mine said something to me last week that made me think (probably more than I should have):
“The first time in the BDSM life style can be a bit overwhelming and, if you really enjoy it, a person can fall fast and hard for their first partner if they are not careful.”
I remember how much I liked my first “boyfriend”…
How enamored I was with the man I gave my virginity to…
Firsts are special.
Oddly enough, I was rereading some “related posts” when I came across this one: Lost
For the most part, I have overcome that feeling in regards to [Loserman].
Don’t get me wrong, I still feel very lost very much of the time, but situations (car-related and not) keep popping up in life (as they tend to do) and I am handling them on my own, without his help and/or support. Sometimes I probably don’t handle them in the best of ways, but I get through it and then deal with the consequences regardless…
Last week Alaska and I were talking about general things and, I don’t remember how the subject of self-esteem came up, but it did.
I told Him that, every morning while I am doing my yoga, I repeat over and over to myself: “I am light, I am love, I am a gift.” (I have been doing this since mid-January.)
But, even though I repeat that mantra to myself day after day, I am still unable to feel love for myself.
I mean, I think I am a cool person, and I believe that I am indeed light and love and a gift and all that, but I still don’t love myself.
In fact, for all the good things that I
allegedly am, I still pretty much hate myself.
Before my skate trip to Houston in February, I mentioned to Alaska that I might like for him to pick me up from the airport when I returned.
At that point, it had been 4 weeks since we’d seen each other and I was really starting to miss him. Even for my extracurricular escapades and the fact that we’d been communicating nearly every day, I missed the hell out of him and wanted to feel his gigantic chocolate body next to mine…
When he couldn’t make the effort to come and get me because he was showing houses to a client he already admitted to disliking immensely (AND after knowing about my trip for over a week), I composed my little note to him on the train/bus ride back to my apartment.
And later, when I texted him I’d made it home safe, he simply answered: masturbate for me now and send me the video
Just do I as I say
This made me even more upset with him, but I did as I was told…
Before I fell asleep, he did send me a “good girl” 😉
I arrived at The Kisser’s house and let myself in as instructed.
He stood up from his place on the couch, walked toward me and immediately began kissing the hell out of me.
Mmmmm! They was as good as I remembered!!
Unlike the first/last time, there was no small talk while we sat and got comfortable with each other – I don’t even know why he led me over to his couch! We only kissed there for a couple of moments before he said, “I’m gonna cum all over the living room before I even taste your pussy! Let’s go to the bedroom.”