Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Loneliness

It’s Christmas.

You’re the only thing that I miss.

There’s no reason; I never meant anything to you; you never got me a gift.

Holidays were just a time for you to ignore me. Read the rest of this entry »

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LEAVE ME ALONE!

Oh my fucking god!!

What does “never” mean to you?

Clearly not what it really means.

When I told you I never wanted to talk to you or hear from you again

I fucking meant NEVER

Don’t call me

Don’t text me

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Other People’s Stories

I am sick of people being so self-absorbed that they can’t see others’ stories

Maybe it’s bothering me because I’ve been getting caught up in my own story and forget about the others – so I am trying to dispel my guilt

But probably it’s bothering me because…

…people…

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Sharing Is Caring

I’m back on Tinder again

It’s an on and off again relationship

Much like the one I had with Alaska

Anyway, here’s a rejection I’d like to share with you

This was after dude ignore me two times when I asked him if he wanted to go out…

“Omg! I don’t know how I missed that message.”

Twice.

Yeah, right.

 

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You Can’t Go Anywhere Any More

Seriously…

angry graffiti

Like it wasn’t bad enough before when “all” we had to worry about was going to large events with tons of people?

Now we have to worry about a short trip down the street to the local dive bar for a nice, relaxing happy hour.

How can you relax and enjoy your “happy” hour if you’re constantly worried about some lunatic crashing in at 1:30 AM brandishing weapons?!

(or any old time, really)

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The Uncommonly Common Narcissist

My theory:

Narcissists are becoming more and more common because –

…..day care….

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Bipolarity

I’ve been seeing a shrink

It started after I told Thing #1 I wanted to kill myself and asked if she wanted to come with

That was when I finally realized I was out of control

It’s been since high school, some 30 years ago that I’ve felt so self-destructive

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I’m Over It

Kink isn’t my thing.

I tried it and I like it.

But I am unable to find a compatible partner.

And I’m sick of trying.

It hurts too much.

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Over It

Since Alaska pretty much shunned me last Monday, I’ve had little-to-nothing to say to him.

In all honesty, I am disgusted.

Disgusted with him.

Disgusted with myself.

DIS – GUS – TED

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I Hate Myself for Loving You

But I guess that’s kind of what love is, right?

Before my skate trip to Houston in February, I mentioned to Alaska that I might like for him to pick me up from the airport when I returned.

At that point, it had been 4 weeks since we’d seen each other and I was really starting to miss him. Even for my extracurricular escapades and the fact that we’d been communicating nearly every day, I missed the hell out of him and wanted to feel his gigantic chocolate body next to mine…

When he couldn’t make the effort to come and get me because he was showing houses to a client he already admitted to disliking immensely (AND after knowing about my trip for over a week), I composed my little note to him on the train/bus ride back to my apartment.

And later, when I texted him I’d made it home safe, he simply answered: masturbate for me now and send me the video

???

Just do I as I say

This made me even more upset with him, but I did as I was told…

Before I fell asleep, he did send me a “good girl” 😉

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